To The Creator

Dear Fred:
It has been so long since I have written in you.  Tonight, however, I would like to address my entry to The Creator, Our Father, The Great Spirit, God or perhaps just The Cosmos.  There are so many belief systems and I have no idea which (if any) are true.  The one thing I do believe is that I have much to be grateful for.  The following is my prayer of gratitude to whomever this entity may be. 
Great Creator:
You who have made and unmade all we know, please hear this one who bows before you.
It has been sixteen months since my life partner, best friend and anchor of my life suffered and died.  I will never know or understand why someone who loved and lived life so well had the gift of life taken from him.  He still had so much to offer his friends, his family, his community.  I still miss him and my life and soul still feel empty.  I pray for your blessing of healing that I may find purpose in life.
Tonight I humbly come before you with gratefulness in my heart.  Although Nick was taken from me, I find myself surrounded still by the friends he and I had.  They have not deserted me.  In so many ways and so very often they give me support, encouragement and love.  They do everything they can think of to help me face each day.  I am humbled by their generosity and caring.  Please help me to be worthy of their loyalty and friendship.
Although I have lost my life's partner and the best part of my soul, I know you have given me much.  I am truly grateful for the friends and neighbors you have blessed me with.  Without them I know I would not have lived through that first year of bitter loss and emptiness.  Still at 16 months the pain and loneliness can be overwhelming.  Without the continued blessing of these friends and neighbors (my extended family) I do not know how I would face each day.
Thank you for the friendship and companionship of those that Nick & I knew together  and also for the new friendships that have come into my life since Nick's death.  You have blessed me with good counselors, wonderful friends on DS to communicate with, a new friend (Flora) to go walking with and a new widow friend  (Karen) to have lunch with or see a matinee with.  Thank you for sending this support and help to me.
Please give me the gift of appreciation that I may concentrate on the good things in life instead of the loneliness.  Please give me the gift of compassion that I may understand others and be of help  to others in need.  Please give me the gift of strength that I may face each day with the courage that Nick had during the time he fought to live.  Please give me the gift of perception that I may understand how you would have me live and what you would have me accomplish while I am here.
Thank you for the wonderful gifts of support, friendship, my four footed family and the home that shelters us. Thank you, too, for understanding the uncertainty of my heart and for any comfort you give.  
Thank you for listening.  This one is grateful for your gifts.
Amen
 
Good night, Fred, and thank you for helping me send this message of thanks.
Darlene                    July 14, 2012
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Darlene,

it has ben so long since I have read your writings. TOO LONG.

all these thngs you ask so lovingly for, yu already posess in the way you live your life dear friend. I have a feeling that the cosmos, Creator, GOD, thanks YOU dear friend just for being YOU.

i know that I DO. LOVE to you and glad to see you here. I missed you in Vegas, and hope that someday we can meet and share that beautiful smile of yours. Diane
deleted_user
deleted_user

Darlene,
Beautiful, I need to see the blessings in my life, I too often dwell on the sorrow. I do believe the fog is either lifting, or settling, at least for the moment. Blessings to you today.
I love and miss him madly, Rhonda
deleted_user
deleted_user

Darlene, What a beautiful heartfelt journal and it makes my heart smile to hear that you have wonderful friends that surround you to help you on this journey.....sending love and hugs...((HUGS))
deleted_user
deleted_user

Darlene, thanks for sharing with us. Thankfulness is a wonderful focus and you\'ve expressed yourself very well. It has helped me refocus today. Peace. Darleen
lovedaisies
lovedaisies

Hi Darlene,
This is a beautiful letter of appreciation. I too am grateful my friends have continued to include me in their lives. When Stan was alive we would all get together a few times a year---having know each other about 34 years---and they still want me to be a part. I know many others have had different, more hurtful experiences.
Many hugs and love,
Salie
deleted_user
deleted_user

HELLO DARLENE,

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL JOURNAL ENTRY. CREATOR, GOD, THE LORD JESUS CHRIST IS THE TRUE GOD. HE LOVES YOU SO VERY MUCH AND HEARS YOUR PRAYERS AND KNOWS YOUR GENTLE HEART AND WHAT IT HAS BEEN THROUGH. YOUR JOURNAL TOUCHED MY HEART!

MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU DARLENE. YOUR HEART IS SO GIVING, JUST LIKE JESUS HEART!

THE LORD JESUS BLESS YOU AND CONTINUE TO HEAL YOUR HEART!!

WARM GENTLE HUGS,
RECENTWIDOW