to conquer or not conquer - what's my expectation?

It's been a really fruitful day. I went to work at the market and while there

I started to see and listen what my thoughts were as i worked.  I felt anxious

and stressed and then I thought about others as they worked. I figured they

were feeling some kind of anxiety and stress as they worked as well.

There was this rubber band like thing in me that was the focus of my anxiety

and I thought about how in a BP person that can be more extreme maybe - but

at the same time I thought everyone there working was feeling something like that as well.

That commonality that I found really helped me. I thought about my own expectation of

how I thought things should be?? And slowing I mellowed and got into my own boogie about things.

I was on target and moving accepting the stuff as it came up - and then I felt no longer at odds

with things. I came home and as I drove I thought about my place in the world as I transitioned

back to regular life - I ate lunch, I went to the office and while there I started to work - and slowly I got

into it - I was at odds with what I was doing there at first. I couldn't appreciate or I didn't appreciate my own

vantage - but reminded again then of what I expected from myself and that kind of put me in touch with what

my boogie/vantage was - Somethings I just don't get so much out of - - and I remembered what I was taught

by past job experiences and I put that into the arena of what I was doing today. Aquired knowledge is really important

and it's useful ... But I got good work done today there too. And now I'm at home. Ran a few errands and everything's

taken care of for the day. For some reason I find it real hard to be alone. I go a little nutso thinking all the while it's something I have to conquer...I think I shouldn't be cruel to myself about this. I will pay the $500 deposit for a cat

and then the monthly rent for an animal of $55. Ugg that's a lot!!! I just think I need someone/something to love and vice versa..

I hope you guys are having a good day!!! Sending peace and sunshine - a few rainbows and a unicorn fart. :) hehe

Peace!