Time to trust

This was a very lazy Monday. I didn't sleep very much last night. Though, I did sleep clear from about 3:30 am until 10am. I'm getting tired of sleeping on a couch though. My back is starting to hurt and forget about my neck. I spent most of the morning watching TV and playing around on Facebook. I did do a little bit of work. My hours have been reduced so I'm not sure how much I'm going to be getting paid every week now. I'm expecting it to be around $120 every two weeks. Not very much to go on.My Niece Bella came over this afternoon. It was good to see her. We played with her Doc Mcstuffins mobile that she got for Christmas. We also baked some cookies. I put too many on the sheet, and left them in the over for about two minutes longer than I should have but they didn't burn. Just a little bit more crunchy than I would have liked. Mom and I had chicken pot pie for dinner after Bella left. We watched the movie Heaven is For real. I wanted to like it but it was just okay. Very slow to start. It gets more engaging as it goes on but it's still not a very well written movie. It panders, and it's very emotionally manipulative. It does have some touching moments that made me teary eyed, but I was really hoping for a good cry. We also watched the first two episodes of the new TV show Galavant which I liked very much. It's silly, like Monty Python and Mel Brooks movies. I found it very funny, plus the tunes were catchy. I wish that they had chosen people who could sing a little better, though I don't think the music is the most important thing. I finally nailed down an appointment with my new therapist in NYC. My first appointment is going to be Friday at 5pm in Manhattan. I've got to make my way to New York now. I'm going to stay with my friend Vicki on Long Island. I'm not sure how long I'm going to stay there. She says it wont be an inconvenience, and of course I'm going to do my best to make sure that I'm more of a help than a burden for her. I'm a little bit nervous about taking the bus, but I do think that I'm going to be okay. I still haven't heard anything from Matt since the last time we talked, which was on New Years Day. It was one month ago today that I told him I still loved him and that I wanted to reconcile. I asked him to call me when he was ready to give me an answer. I haven't heard anything from him. I've been emailing him every day. He'll probably get the Christmas card I mailed out on Saturday tomorrow or Wednesday.I'd really like to go home. I miss him so much. I just want to move back, find a marriage counselor and begin working out our issues. Yes, it will take time, and it will be difficult. If we both love and care for one another and we both WANT things to work out then it's entirely possible that they will.My mother gave me a book at the end of the year. It's called Jesus calling. It's a book of daily devotions. One per day. Today's devotion was about letting go of what we think we want and keeping our hearts and minds open to what God is telling us that we need. It's very difficult for me to do that, but I'm really going to try. My husband and I made a vow to God, and I find it very hard to believe that God would want me to abandon that. Perhaps now is not yet the right time to try and fix it though. I have to trust.