Time for wondering

I am going into online therapy in a moment.


Yesterday was a really powerful day in that I over taxed my family 


with expressions through texts resulting in a phone call.. My sister called and told me it was too much,


she loves me, but it was a lot and she asked that I talk to my therapist about


tools which would help me regroup and discern what and where I express things.


Understood and fair enough. 


This morning after having that really good conversation with her I was really


in a good place. I feel kind of independent of the monastery - the services seem


strange and I feel at odds with the prayers - but perhaps that's just in the moment feelings..


I feel very grateful for my time here...the work is steady and a lot - but we do get big


pauses at times and that is lovely time for 'wondering about life.' That kind of time


has helped me grow a great deal. I will add more later.


Gotta go...jump!

Replies

Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD

I'm glad that you had a straight and honest conversation with your sister sweetie

I hope that your therapy appt goes well...xo
arfie
arfie

hyper expression is one of my meaner psycho bad girls. when this bad girl gets onstage, i could wear jesus to rebellion on hearing about the benefits of love and forgiveness. my hyper expressive motto is, "never use a single word where a thousand will do." my hyper expression gets the upper hand often enough that i have set up a hand signal by which those closest to me can discretely let me know when i am hyper expressing AGAIN! ! ! we borrowed that hand signal from football referees. hands positioned to make a T, "time out."

sigh. . .
malibumark
malibumark

Thanks Janet! Thanks Arfie!
Much appreciated!
beckyp
beckyp

I hope your online therapy helped you today, Mark.
malibumark
malibumark

thanks becky! it sure did!
malibumark
malibumark

we had a good discussion, I talked to him about about creating a kind of structure to
my writings. I've decided to stop, look and listen as to what do I want to achieve here? (I'm going to ask myself).
Also we talked about it some more and summarized to give my thoughts structure,
and my 'downloads' from the day 'targeted', I am going to write my therapist a summary
at the end of every day in an email about what came to mind and how and then leave my writings to that.
I'll come on here too but insofar as how I involve the outside world, I will formalize this 'whole thing' - and so give me
pause to think about it and what I am trying to achieve etc.. daily.