time

i know the answer to this doesn't have to be entirely one thing


or another - I don't know why I have to talk about this - but I am compelled to.

 

last night I felt so energized, optimistic and capable to 'take on' projects to occupy me

while i stayed in my room, preparing for the procedure on Thursday.

I did some cleaning - but I just kind of thought an amazing life goal

would be wonderful to have - a real kind of entrepreneurial triumph,

I thought I had it within me.

 

but then taking the first step in any direction was unknown.

I went to sleep - and woke this morning

and thought about the contemplative life I have - it gives me time to think

about things, time to love Blue and my family and friends and community and I am very comfortable, 

but would the pursuit of another monastery be simply another

place where I could live in assistance of the whole - and have time to 

just parse my experience like i do?

 

Am I meant for something more - and is that a more acceptable life

for me to have?

 

I know both lives can involve a measure of each thing - I am just questioning

while I prep for this thing.

 


this is something i have to answer for myself

 


but again - i can go all draconian on myself

 

i am not just worried about living in a different monastery - but any choice would involve some

stabilization time - some time hopefully I would have - i guess that's the real luxury that I want...

time....wherever I go.

 


Replies

beckyp
beckyp

Are you back from NY? How was your trip? Did you get to sight see at all? I pray you can decide what to do and where you are meant to be. I pray God will give you peace with your decision.
malibumark
malibumark

Thanks Becky! I’ll pray for you as well!
beckyp
beckyp

Thanks Mark!