Thursday eve
Well it's Thursday eve here and I am so glad it's Friday tomorrow. This was a short week for me but sometimes those short weeks seem longer!! The kids are wild and all have spring fever as we have been in the high 70's so learning is the last thing on their mind....
2 students today were in trouble - it went something like this....one student said he said f &*% YOU to me. The other student was horrified because he said I have never said that to anyone. Well, the student said yes you did!!! Finally after a debate between the two and the teacher, the student who swore he heard that FINALLY said, "okay he really didn't SAY it"..BUT I SAW IT IN HIS EYES.....LOL.. My response to that is guess I'm guilty of that too!!! Oh my expressions have caused me a lot of trouble, sometimes.....
Remember the student I told you all about that has seizures and the medication that has to be given rectally - anyway that 12 year old girl is in a medically induced coma due to continuous seizure activity..I really felt for that mom today - at the same time my mind went to Jennifer on a ventilator and that's pretty much where it stayed all day so tonite I'm exhausted, sad, wanting to go back to that time to be able to touch Jennifer one more time....here we go again....Like Teri said, THIS GRIEF JOURNEY IS BULLSHIT.....I hate it when my day can be going along ok and then wham......Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer - I miss you so damn much......
2 students today were in trouble - it went something like this....one student said he said f &*% YOU to me. The other student was horrified because he said I have never said that to anyone. Well, the student said yes you did!!! Finally after a debate between the two and the teacher, the student who swore he heard that FINALLY said, "okay he really didn't SAY it"..BUT I SAW IT IN HIS EYES.....LOL.. My response to that is guess I'm guilty of that too!!! Oh my expressions have caused me a lot of trouble, sometimes.....
Remember the student I told you all about that has seizures and the medication that has to be given rectally - anyway that 12 year old girl is in a medically induced coma due to continuous seizure activity..I really felt for that mom today - at the same time my mind went to Jennifer on a ventilator and that's pretty much where it stayed all day so tonite I'm exhausted, sad, wanting to go back to that time to be able to touch Jennifer one more time....here we go again....Like Teri said, THIS GRIEF JOURNEY IS BULLSHIT.....I hate it when my day can be going along ok and then wham......Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer - I miss you so damn much......
Replies
I know. A lot of times I fall apart when I\'m behind the wheel. I start crying & can\'t stop. The other drivers probably all think that I should be in a strait -jacket.
Those waves come out of left field don\'t they? I hope you can rally soon..sometimes it grips me for days. Just when I feel I have turned a corner...still with you Vicki...Lauri
With you when things are going okay and with you when you receive the sledge hammers of grief and sorrow.
TGIF and gentle care dear Vicki on this roller coaster ride that must come to a halt every now and again.
Missing Jennifer with YOU!
XO Joanie
Right there with you, I hate it! I still don\'t know how I\'ve lived this long with it!!
Ditto everything - it\'s always just below the surface waiting for that fissure even as the years go by. Yet, I wouldn\'t be without it - it\'s part of me on this journey, now. Well, that probably didn\'t make any sense. I can\'t put it into words. Bullshit probably says it better! Hope your weekend is relaxing - your students make me smile:) Joanna x
I hope that today was a good day for you and that your weekend brings you some lighthearted peace.
With an understanding hug,
Diane
I will do the same thing. like that Bobby Christine Brown on ventalator . As soon as I heard that all I thought about was my daughter on that ventilatore so long. . it was so sad. for me just like for you bless your angel Jennafer . love mary ann
I do hope your Fri was better for you. Kids they love us and hate us. Time is all we have time to heal time to cry time to deal with bullshit.....
Tight hugs
Penny
Yep!! I totally understand!! You just never know when it will \"hit\" you, out of nowhere, knocking the breath out of you. It is relentless & never ending...
(((HUGS)))...Julia
Hoping you are getting some rest this weekend. Peace, Kathy
Grief.....It is exhausting.......so sorry you are going through it. Before I came here to FMO I didn\'t really understand why I had no strength or desire to do anything. Even wondered if I was just becoming lazy. Coming to know these moms & their grief journeys helps me recognize my own journey. They are not exactly alike but lots of similarities. When reading what helps 1 mom, may help us too. One of the things we have in common is we\'re not alone here.
We can relate & be there for each other. Big tight hugs sweet friend.
Never know what is going to trigger us, set us off. Tight hugs. Sue xo