Thursday, August 9, 2012
My Dearest Darling Darrell,
I'm feeling okay today. Have had a few ups and downs in the past few days, but I've also found a middle ground and it feels pretty good. I don't mind being in the middle of this vertical fulcrum, even if it means sacrificing the times that I'm so elated I could just burst. I'm just holding on for dear life and hoping against hope that I don't crash to the bottom again. (As if!)
Strange things have been happening in my brain and I'm listening and acting on some of these thoughts. I've ventured into some unfamiliar territory and am frightened somewhat, but so far nothing truly bad has come of it - only a few scratches and bruises. Some of the actions I have taken may come back to bite me, big time, but I know if I don't step out of the familiar I could just shrivel up and I don't want that to happen. In the past, I always had you to run home to, and now... But nothing ventured, nothing gained, right, Honey? Besides, you ARE here for me, just "in the next room." And, when I cry for you, here you are.
I'm thinking that you may be guiding me into moving forward and upward, although I'm not sure I'm following you on the exact path. But, as it was when you were actually here, that somehow had a way of working out. So, My Darling, lead on...I'm right behind you.
Love you much and miss your touch,
Terry
I'm feeling okay today. Have had a few ups and downs in the past few days, but I've also found a middle ground and it feels pretty good. I don't mind being in the middle of this vertical fulcrum, even if it means sacrificing the times that I'm so elated I could just burst. I'm just holding on for dear life and hoping against hope that I don't crash to the bottom again. (As if!)
Strange things have been happening in my brain and I'm listening and acting on some of these thoughts. I've ventured into some unfamiliar territory and am frightened somewhat, but so far nothing truly bad has come of it - only a few scratches and bruises. Some of the actions I have taken may come back to bite me, big time, but I know if I don't step out of the familiar I could just shrivel up and I don't want that to happen. In the past, I always had you to run home to, and now... But nothing ventured, nothing gained, right, Honey? Besides, you ARE here for me, just "in the next room." And, when I cry for you, here you are.
I'm thinking that you may be guiding me into moving forward and upward, although I'm not sure I'm following you on the exact path. But, as it was when you were actually here, that somehow had a way of working out. So, My Darling, lead on...I'm right behind you.
Love you much and miss your touch,
Terry
Replies
Terry, Yes we all have to eventually have to get out and try new things.
It isn\'t always easy to get out there alone. But I am sure Darrell is
trying to lead you to move on ,as I believe Kenny is too. I feel that when
I can\'t take anymore,that Kenny is there saying \" Honey, you will be fine\",
so I go with these feelings and pray I can move forward. It\'s really hard for
us Terry, we were blessed to have had such loving and caring husbands.
Gentle Hugs,
Deanna
Terry,
I love this entry....STRENGTHis all over it. One of my many mantras i live by now although none of them work ALL THE TIME1 lol the one that is most important is one I got from Greg. \'what would you do if you were NOT afraid? It is what brought me the most important love of my life. It was and si good advice. I stillo many times take it to thins day.
The road is never mapped out and we will go \'our own ways\' on that road. just means it is HEALING. and you are Terry one step at a time you ARE healing. And Darrell is PROUD of you taking yur steps. YES there will be things that bite you, but also things that will AMAZE you.
I hopefor WAY more of the latter....always
Love, Diane
Dear sweet Terry
You wrote such an uplifting Journal message and I admire the spirit of your love for Darrell that shines through each word. Thank you for being so kind and encouraging to me, too. Love and Hugs, Nancy
Terry, you put things into words so well! Yes they are here with us cheering us on...
hugs...
-Diana