THOUGHTS TO PONDER

 
 THERE IS SOME INTERESTING THOUGHTS IN THE FOLLOWING. MANY OF THEM ARE TRUE!!
   I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way.  So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.   ˜    Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.    ˜    Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.    ˜    Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.   ˜    If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.   ˜    We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.   ˜    War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.   ˜    Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.   ˜    The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.   ˜    Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.   ˜    To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.  To steal from many is research.   ˜    A bus station is where a bus stops.  A train station is where a train stops.  My desk is a work station.   ˜    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire   ˜   I  thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paycheques.   ˜    Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR."   ˜    I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.   ˜    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?   ˜    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.   ˜    Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?˜    A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.   ˜    You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to skydive twice.   ˜    The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!   ˜    Always borrow money from a pessimist.  He won't expect it back.   ˜    A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip   ˜    Hospitality:  making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.   ˜    Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.   ˜    Some cause happiness wherever they go.  Others whenever they go.   ˜    There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.   ˜    I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not sure.   ˜    I always take life with a grain of salt... plus a slice of lemon... and a shot of tequila.   ˜    When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.   ˜    You're never too old to learn something stupid.    ˜    Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.    







 








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