thoughts this afternoon

went to work and kind of buzzed around... I thought about my weaknesses

a lot and maybe 'what I am not' ...but then I thought about what I am...

I thought about focusing on the need to do what is right for me in the context of

my fellow coworkers...consideration of 'individual' - there's space for me - and in that I kind of I kind of forgot about

myself and felt myself as one among others just happily going about my work...I felt content - flawed but ok with life

I then came home and got changed and then I realized I wanted to start filling myself up - filling my life up with things to do.. I noticed I started eating cookies and drinking beer...

but that wasn't really what I wanted to do.. 

I also started watching tv but that wasn't really wanted either... knowing that I wanted to fill my life up - really made me more aware of what I want to do,

I went to another book-signing party - and I came home -

my energy is all over the place - 

but then I came home - and eventually thought about things and I concluded 

you can fill yourself up - but you also need to be responsible - self responsible - it's a tough balance.