This too shall pass

  Had a really good day yesterday. Worked with Bob painting this apartment, and really enjoyed myself. After he dropped me off at home, I didn't even have any thoughts about asking for money. I know I earned some for the work, but it didn't cross my mind because i just don't have any urgent needs like before. Drinking, everything was an emergency, and had to be done yesterday. That's a really cool blessing. A real freedom. Clarence got his usual beer around ten or so. It didn't bother me the least. that's also a new freedom. I don't remember never feeling at least some temptation. Just seeing him, and how he lives is enough to make me not think about drinking. I haven't been working for a few weeks now, but I am doing good. Have everything I need. Clarence has been working qwith Bob all along, but has nothing. He wanted to bum a smoke from me last night and it pisses me off. I don't get outwardley angry about it, because I know it's the disease I get pissed off about. These guys never have anything, and it doesn't seem to bother them. never have money, smokes, a lighter... absolutely nothing, and they seem to just not care. It doesn't seem to faze them. I can't live like that. Even going to some of Bob's rental units is like going to some differant world. Everyone that lived there tried bumming smokes from me. I stop giving them now. i did in the begining, but it's just ridiculous. They work all the time, but everytime the same thing. I don't have much either, but I just can't be a mark for everyone. Besides, perhaps when they get agravated enough they may want to change. Who knows. Anyway, I got some fantastic bread last night from a bakery Bob took us to. He wanted to buy it for me so I got a big loaf of caroway seed, rye bread. Oh, it was so good. Just melts in your mouth. thank you Lord. Gotta go now. Got some things to do today, so I'm off.