This thing called Grieving

It has been 7 weeks since my husband passed away. 7 weeks and one day to be exact. I am beginning to accept what I cannot change. I understand he was so sick for so long and just so tired of fighting to stay alive. Had he lived, the quality of life would not be there and he would have had brain damage and what kind of life would that have been? He would have had to live in a care center and that would have killed him. But he was home in the house he loved right up until 10 hours before he passed. Everyone says I look so good and am doing good. Most of the time I am alright. But I can be fine one minute and the wave of sadness comes over me and I just start crying and sobbing. I dry my tears and assure our dog that Mommy will be fine. I sleep like a baby and have no trouble making a meal just for me and eating it. I am still working and trying to keep a schedule. But I miss having my husband to bounce ideas with. Making decisions all on my own. Constantly second guessing everything I decide. I know he would say "don't worry, you are doing fine" or "spend some money, have some fun". He always would say that. He supported me in my career. I lack confidence that I obviously got from him. But in the next moment I am determined to make it on my own. To make him proud. To enjoy life and be happy. To be strong. Yup, Mommy will be fine. Thank you for letting me vent.