This past week...
Three things that made me happy this week: 1, my husband. 2, A visit from Sabrina. 3. Trick or treaters.
I have been struggling this past week with greater fatigue, increased dizziness, and shortness of breath. On top of that, I was particularly blue all week and I didn’t know why. I felt too blue to journal or even visit this site which is ridiculous because doing so usually makes me feel better. I had some highlights over the past week, so I really should not have been so sad. Sabrina came to spend an afternoon with me. We had intended to sort through some of my dad’s stuff, but I didn’t have the stamina to do so. Although I was grateful to have her home and enjoyed our visit, I was terribly tired when she left.
Early Monday morning as he was leaving for work, Don gave me a good-bye kiss and hug then stood back, looked at me, and confessed, “You know, there are a lot of things in my life that I regret, but I don’t ever regret marrying you.” How could I be sad after that? I don’t know, but I was.
I had a couple short visits from Penny and helped Joanna prepare for her unemployment hearing and even made a trip downtown to pick up medicine and sundries. The weather has been beautiful. Still I could not shake the dark clouds that seemed to be following me
Yesterday I think I discovered what had been getting me down. I miss my little Skye. Every year in October, our community sponsors pumpkin picking. Kids and parents pile on hay bales loaded in horse-drawn wagons. Laughing and singing, we are driven through town to a large pumpkin patch and the kids are let loose to choose their pumpkins. I loved helping Skye carve her jack-o-lantern. I especially loved doing costumes and makeup for Skye and her friends. It was a tradition that they would gather at our house to eat caramel apples while I applied their make-up…rather skillfully I might add. Then a friend and I would bus a van full of kids through town. When they were little I loved watching the tiny lights in their sneakers flashing as they ran up to a house, rang the bell, and jumped up and down with excitement as they waited for the door to open.
My blues melted away yesterday evening when the first trick or treater of the night knocked on my door. I wish I had felt up to donning a costume and dressing up the dogs, but it really didn’t matter. Although it had been windy during the day, the evening was calm and temperate. We had a record number 44 goblins stop at our house. It was so fun!
I have been struggling this past week with greater fatigue, increased dizziness, and shortness of breath. On top of that, I was particularly blue all week and I didn’t know why. I felt too blue to journal or even visit this site which is ridiculous because doing so usually makes me feel better. I had some highlights over the past week, so I really should not have been so sad. Sabrina came to spend an afternoon with me. We had intended to sort through some of my dad’s stuff, but I didn’t have the stamina to do so. Although I was grateful to have her home and enjoyed our visit, I was terribly tired when she left.
Early Monday morning as he was leaving for work, Don gave me a good-bye kiss and hug then stood back, looked at me, and confessed, “You know, there are a lot of things in my life that I regret, but I don’t ever regret marrying you.” How could I be sad after that? I don’t know, but I was.
I had a couple short visits from Penny and helped Joanna prepare for her unemployment hearing and even made a trip downtown to pick up medicine and sundries. The weather has been beautiful. Still I could not shake the dark clouds that seemed to be following me
Yesterday I think I discovered what had been getting me down. I miss my little Skye. Every year in October, our community sponsors pumpkin picking. Kids and parents pile on hay bales loaded in horse-drawn wagons. Laughing and singing, we are driven through town to a large pumpkin patch and the kids are let loose to choose their pumpkins. I loved helping Skye carve her jack-o-lantern. I especially loved doing costumes and makeup for Skye and her friends. It was a tradition that they would gather at our house to eat caramel apples while I applied their make-up…rather skillfully I might add. Then a friend and I would bus a van full of kids through town. When they were little I loved watching the tiny lights in their sneakers flashing as they ran up to a house, rang the bell, and jumped up and down with excitement as they waited for the door to open.
My blues melted away yesterday evening when the first trick or treater of the night knocked on my door. I wish I had felt up to donning a costume and dressing up the dogs, but it really didn’t matter. Although it had been windy during the day, the evening was calm and temperate. We had a record number 44 goblins stop at our house. It was so fun!
Replies
Good morning! It\'s 4:40 a.m in Jersey, but this is how my sleep/nonsleep works! It stinks!! Anyway, saw you had written a journal.
I think it\'s wonderful that you start your journals off on a positive note. We should all learn to do that! We have enough negativity just existing on this crazy planet! Right? Right!
Sorry you were blue and fatigued. We can all relate to that. The blues come to me at change of season. I don\'t think that was your cause though...I\'m sure you were right about Skye. Missing someone once the holidays start is a terrible thing. I will be having my first Thanksgiving and Christmas without my husband this year. Not looking forward to it, that\'s for sure, but life goes on. I have family. I\'ll get through it.
I\'m glad you did end up enjoying your day and having some fun. I think with CFS the seasonal changes affect our bodies. I know they do that to me. I feel the hour change, every time we set the clocks back. I\'m messed up for weeks after that. Thus, me being up at four! UGH! Hate this!!
I do hope you pick up in energy and feel better as we head into the fall season. Holiday madness is about to begin.
What a lovely thing Don said to you. Cherish those things in your heart! xo
Hi, honey. I think the blues come over us in cycles. I often feel like I won\'t feel better, but I have to remind myself that I have been blue before and then I feel a bit better later. I can understand how you could still be blue even after your hubby said such a sweet thing. I feel like, when we are sad, we struggle to let the good in. I know that happens to me. Good things roll off of me and the bad ones go in deep. What a horrible paradox. Rest and know that God is for you. Much love. Heather.
I\'m sorry that I didn\'t see your journal until now.I can relate to feeling down and blue.I hope you are ok now.Your husband sounds like a good supporting man for sure and what a lovely thing to say to you.I also love the way you start your journals with gratitude for the things that make you happy. I appreciate being reminded to count my blessings each day. Halloween is becoming more popular in Australia .Unfortunately I had to cancel on it this year as I just didn\'t have the energy to get up and answer the door.My husband needed to rest also.Hopefully next year will be different.I could hear the voices of so many children in our street.Take care.Love to you.Di xo