this pain
Thank goodness for my brother and his wife and their children. Otherwise I wouldn't have had the strength to make it through. I have that heartsick, stomach sick, all over sick feeling when you just can't shake the grief. I have been living in a blurred world ever since I found out. And he is just fine. He is not thinking of us. He says he didn't spend the day with OW and that he spent it with his mom and sister and sister's family. Really? The same family he always referred to as white trash and he refused to deal with?
My kids are hurting. I am hurting. And he is so happy in his new life with the new girlfriend and her three small children. He wasn't that great a dad when our kids were little. He always had a hair trigger temper over nothing. How is he going to behave when these three get on his nerves, and he isn't even their dad?
So he misses everything good in my son's junior and senior year. He ruins his relationship with the daughter who idolized him. He wasn't "happy". He needs to be happy. Forget what the rest of us need.
How can he not miss them? How can he not think about and remember everything wonderful about them? He said he was divorcing me and not them, but it sure feels like we're all being given our walking papers.
My kids are hurting. I am hurting. And he is so happy in his new life with the new girlfriend and her three small children. He wasn't that great a dad when our kids were little. He always had a hair trigger temper over nothing. How is he going to behave when these three get on his nerves, and he isn't even their dad?
So he misses everything good in my son's junior and senior year. He ruins his relationship with the daughter who idolized him. He wasn't "happy". He needs to be happy. Forget what the rest of us need.
How can he not miss them? How can he not think about and remember everything wonderful about them? He said he was divorcing me and not them, but it sure feels like we're all being given our walking papers.
Replies
My wife did the same thing. Don\'t best yourself up too bad trying to make sense of his actions because you can\'t. You just have to accept he\'s a turd and be strong for your kids. Mine didn\'t want to see their mother on Christmas either. So I got the kids and we made dinner and played xbox and had a blast while she got to spend it with her new sparkly family. Screw her, I would much rather have my kids then my cheating ex. Hang in there :)
You need to go no contact. That you have even spoken to him at all to know that he went to his white trash family is just hurting you. Try to find what little peace you have. I\'m so sorry and know what you are feeling very well. That\'s always how it is in the beginning. I agree with Kbbcoop. Screw him. Be there for your kids.
I agree with KRKing--you must go No Contact. If he calls, ask if he wishes to speak to the kids. If he says no or launches into what he is doing, cut him off and say, \"We have nothing to talk about\" and hang up. You have to set boundaries to protect yourself. Try not to question the \"why\" of what does. These cheaters live in a fog and are looking for any validation to justify their cheating. Don\'t try to figure it out because there is no rhyme or reason to it.
Be there for your kids. Call an attorney and a counselor and let\'s see how happy his new family is when most of his paycheck is going for child and spousal support.
Hang in there. Big hugs.