this is what happened after I went to the "family" wedding

I went home at 1045 after the wedding........  they (my sister and her husband) were going to go to a house party (where people from the wedding were going)  and I really didnt want to go.. plus I had already gotten like 5 phone calls from my husband... and didnt feel like putting up with the grief from him....  sooooo.I get up this morning.... and of course theres a note from him..  telling me "Clean the fucking house today since you didnt get home till 1 am, and nice to go to a fucking party last night when your supposed to be at a wedding.. blah blah blah.. ..........................  WTF I was in the house at 1055 p.m.... I pulled in the driveway at 1045 p.m... and sat in my car for 10 min....  PLUS the hell of it is.. I had like 5 beers all freaking night from ..  530 till 1045.. WTH..?  ughhh.. another great day in the neighborhood.. I just cant win... before this.. before I went home that night ... my brother in law was at my house with Russ. having a beer while me and (my sister) sat at the bar for a couple.... So my sister had him come back to the bar cause everyone was going to that party.. and they were gonna go, and I was gonna go home....  well while my brother in law was there with him, he must of told him where we were going cause then he started calling..  and of course left that nice little note this morning..  What people dont get..  and is a big reason why i stopped telling them shit.. is because they would stick up for me and yell at him.. well he was all fine and dandy to their face and they would talk.. but then he got me alone ... and holy hell would break loose..  what people dont understand.. when they do that..when they try to talk some sense into him .... shit gets WORSE for me, when he gets me alone...  he gets mad that I confide in someone.. that I tell them whats going on. So that is pretty much why i dont have girlfriends.  thats pretty much why no one knows whats going on in my life..because shit gets worse for me... when people know.. cause they cant help but to stick up for me.. they get to close to me, and then they KNOW what is going on in my life, and then they get all pissed off, and try to act like "their word, their talking" to him will change shit..  wtf is that..? are you  crazy... that shit doesnt work.. it pisses him off more..sooo i freeze everyone out... dont call people back, and then adventually they just stop calling.. or they just dont want to be around him anymore cause they cant stand that I havent left him... so.. its like you guys.. wtf.. you talk to him for 1 hour.. he tells you what you wanna hear.. and then poof .. you guys get to leave.. and then its my ass "trying to make it up to him".  they dont get it. He WONT do it IN front of them...  thats how abusers work..  like I said.. Everyone thinks he is the shit.. I mean really he DOES have alot alot of friends.. and everyone thinks "I am the bitch" right?    according to him thats why I dont have friends.. cause I am a bitch.. no one can stand me.. so by the time we do get to go out.. I have such a damn complex around everyone.. "because all I hear is how much people hate my ass" so I hate getting together with people.. because thats all I think about.. of how much they hate me... Or he gets to drunk and I end up having to take care of him...  Or OF course lets not forget about me having a affair with EVERYONE in sight... I am cheating with absolutly everyone..   (I SWEAR to god.. I have never damn cheated before.. I have NEVER even thought about it ) ...... I cant help that I get along better with guys.. its none of the bullshit drama ass shit that girls have.. You dont have to "share" shit with guys.. you know..?  maybe thats why.. cause they dont have to know every aspect of your life.. cause guys just dont ask that sort of stuff..so therefore.. know one knows......  He gets so mad at me, cause I never want to go out with him.. well  DUH dumb ass. wtf do you think that is?  jeezz.. what a idiot.