This is how pathetic I am
Today, not too long ago two men about my age were just outside my apartment using the stair case to my front door as a skateboard ramp. I could hear them laughing and having a good time. I wanted to go outside and sit on my stoop and watch them, maybe go up and talk with them so I could get to know some of the people who live here, but I was too scared. I get anxious and scared around people too the point I purposly hide myself away. I caught myself peeking through my blinds and wishing I was out there. This is why I don't have any friends any more. I pushed away the ones that I had, and am too scared to meet any new ones. Why am I like this?
Replies
Hi friend :)
Listen, dear, what you just described his perfectly normal, especially for our age (college, early adulthood). Everyone is super self-conscious, even people without deep emotional issues. Take a closer look at the situation - maybe you\'re being a little harsh on yourself. The guys were in a group... You, a girl, were alone. Most girls (and guys too!) wouldn\'t have the balls to go up to a group of people of the opposite sex. That\'s just a general fact of life.
But to answer your question, maybe your more shy than usual because of all the things you\'ve gone through... You\'re afraid and phobic of introducing new things to your life because you\'re afraid of the consequences. But look at it this way: could it get any worse than it is now? It\'s your life and you may as well not have any regrets when you look back on it. That\'s the way I look at it when I\'m at my best. Just do the things you want to do, meet the people you want to meet.... because in the end, you may only have the memories, and don\'t you want to have good ones?
i dont know how to have fun, so i figure, why bother.
i understand