This is getting messyyyyyy....
It's looking like my enforced break over the back half of the summer isn't going to be much of a break at all.
Here's why, out in the open: I work part-time as a pharmacy technician. When I've logged 500 hours total working time, I need to do certification training because doing the training and passing the exam following it will allow me to expand what I can do at the small pharmacy where I work (just enough to matter to me).
Okay, fine. The job brings money in and I'm paying my own way towards the AS in paralegal studies that I seek, so it follows that I need to do this.
But my confidence is not feeling so hot after stressing out really bad during the spring semester. And I still think my six week legal ethics course will be on for Monday (I haven't heard to the contrary). And then there's my study habits...especially when I'm still feeling very much down as I am today (not best).
This is not a good situation. I floated as I always do and didn't notice that I would hit my 500 hour target sooner rather than later. Probably no later than early fall, in fact. And since it feels like I'm making virtually no progress on the self-esteem and depression issues that all my friends here seem to have, the situation already feels like it's too much to bear.
Well, okay...by vent standards that was pretty quiet. But I really don't like what I see...and like so many other things I feel powerless to act. It's not helping that the same problem I mentioned with yesterday's entry about feeling torn extends to virtually everything I do.
If I can bring myself up to it, I'll explain that later today.
Here's why, out in the open: I work part-time as a pharmacy technician. When I've logged 500 hours total working time, I need to do certification training because doing the training and passing the exam following it will allow me to expand what I can do at the small pharmacy where I work (just enough to matter to me).
Okay, fine. The job brings money in and I'm paying my own way towards the AS in paralegal studies that I seek, so it follows that I need to do this.
But my confidence is not feeling so hot after stressing out really bad during the spring semester. And I still think my six week legal ethics course will be on for Monday (I haven't heard to the contrary). And then there's my study habits...especially when I'm still feeling very much down as I am today (not best).
This is not a good situation. I floated as I always do and didn't notice that I would hit my 500 hour target sooner rather than later. Probably no later than early fall, in fact. And since it feels like I'm making virtually no progress on the self-esteem and depression issues that all my friends here seem to have, the situation already feels like it's too much to bear.
Well, okay...by vent standards that was pretty quiet. But I really don't like what I see...and like so many other things I feel powerless to act. It's not helping that the same problem I mentioned with yesterday's entry about feeling torn extends to virtually everything I do.
If I can bring myself up to it, I'll explain that later today.
Replies