This is as raw as my poetic mind gets today! Enjoy!

The Metamorphosis1-13-2009 The metamorphosisDoubting whether or not my bipolar is realHaven't been on meds since before halloween andI haven't felt better in my life for so long.No depressionNo maniawhere did my 135 pound body goAll I can think about is how much weight I've gainedand how fat I feel insideThe UGLY rears it's head up and screechesWondering what happened to the old me And where it leftWanting so much to be full of life and exhuberanceEvery time I work out I feel the strain on my hipsWanting to write something just to get it outWishing I could find a job in this tattered economyKnowing that all I will ever be is a housewife is a pure disapointmentHaven't really had any mania except medication bringing it onYet I hear the friends beckon me to write a memoir.How can I write a memoir with very few experienceHow can I tell if this bipolar is real or if it was a mere misdiagnosis?Watching this and standing back at the silenceWhen will the metamorphosis transform what was once a beautiful butterfly?The saddness thickensnot so much depression but more situationalI don't believe in medicating the situationI believe in change