This eve

Be careful what you wish for, I wanted my wife soon to be ex-wife to contact me, and she did today, a very short cursory email and included a letter where I had to pay 100 to a court, very depressing. 20 years ago on this eve I was at a fashion show where she was a model, and we had just started dating. A year on we were engaged and about to go the theatre . I loved her and still do and I don't know what to do with the ongoing pain. Is there any hope? Well if I stay alive then yes, and a reconciliation with my children. Death would stop that. I'll try and stay alive but it isn't easy.