this broke my heart tonight

My 6 year old daughter...  I picked both of my kids up from daycare after work.. and as usual I cked her bag for homework...  Jeez they give alot of homework for 1st graders...  anyway..  she said mommy I have a present for you....  and handed me a flat package that was wrapped...  So I opened it .. and it was a book she made at school..thats says"My Christmas Wishes" My X-Mas Wish for me is a x-mas barbie... (and then she said.. but I know mamma, its ok if I dont get it cause is too expensive) My wish for my mom is pajamas :) (I am not sure why.. :) shes 6  AND THIS IS THE PART THAT KILLED ME.. (I HAD TO HOLD BACK SOBS) WHEN I READ THIS.. My wish is for my dad is to just stay home for x-mas. (so I asked her when I got myself together.. why did u say that J? and she said...... well he is always working (when he leaves to go drink or go out. he tells them he is going to work, nice huh?) OMGmy god... how does he do it to them? I mean the guy when he works during the summer works long hours... but even then.. he would stop somewhere after work to have a beer even if it meant only 5 min that he got to see the girls... Its gotten to the point.. to where .. if he isnt here.. isnt at home....  they dont ask about him, they dont ask to talk to him, nothing... they are just little girls...  I mean I know they cant miss something they dont have or never see... but dang it...  when I was a little girl.. I know  I was such a daddys girl.. I went everywhere with him, always wanted to be with him.... How does he live with himself.. doing it? and How do I live with myself, by staying?