Thinking out loud

"I hate the way I feel inside, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice. . . " (12 Stone)
Am I willing to make the sacrifice?  Do I really know what it is that I'd be sacrificing?  I'd love to sacrifice the feelings of worthlessness and sadness on the alter.  It wouldn't be the first time that I've tried to leave them there and walk away.  Somehow, I find myself returning to reclaim them; wrap them around my neck until I can't breathe. 
It is hard for me to separate myself from the suffering of friends, family, the world.  Something inside me what's tw wallow in the fear, desperation, pain, grief of those around me, but I don't understand why?  The hope I have in Christ is real and far more powerful, but I chosing to turn away.  Getting my focus back on track is so hard these days.  There is a strong desire to run away and hide, but that is not a good choice.  People count on me.
I feel isolated and alone, but don't know how to reach out for help.  I'm not sure what kind of help I need. What is "support"?  I know what it looks like, but I don't understand it.  It is a hard thing for me to recieve and give. 
God, you know what I'm needing.  Direct my steps.  Amen.