thinking about god today...
I found myself feeling isolated today. Weird, jostling politics at work and yet I just kind of 'ho hum'd' to myself
and kept going. I came home for lunch, got changed and then back out to the office. Was
working there for a good hour and a half when I started to question or 'get in touch' with and observe how
I was feeling. I mean, I was feeling the wonder and amazement of all we go through -everybody - individually - and what we continue to do even so, even in the face of feeling tossed around, isolated and so forth....and I just wondered to myself...does god see me? even with
all that we deal with ? he is pleased by us? - in the face of what we experience and then what we choose to do with it?
I just felt a pleasure and a presence there as I sat there, continuing to work.....then my boss came in 'bigger than life'
and I felt joy that I wasn't alone anymore - and just liked being with him and he steered the ship of the business - pushing forward, getting impatient but not blown off course.
I came home a couple hours ago now...and I find myself thinking about god again. I know this can be a sensitive topic to talk about - but in the face of what I deal with - knowing that I have another with which to confer helps me take
a second look at what I am choosing to do with my dilemmas that confront me. I may not have the most plastic expansive imagination but 'to think again' - and put a good foot forward when faced with some isolation or pain is a helping and fortifying thing and it feels like an embrace.
Replies
I often have these thoughts. I often have discussions with God...lucid conversations when I'm completely stable...lol. I also often have arguments with God when I'm in too much pain, when I'm too angry at all he's put in my life that he expected me to overcome and deal with and still be "me".
I've never thought of God in an "awestruck" way as a "Thunder and Lightening" to be feared kind of Creator. I guess I identify more with His human side, He made us in his image, right? And I figure if He has the ability and power to Create the entire Galaxy and all it holds, the earth and every micro organism on it....He can handle me getting angry with the choices He made for my life......and the expectations He made for me. We all argue with our parents, right? But its also very comforting to know that you're never really alone, that in the deepest, darkest, loneliest hours, you can think of God, calm your mind and your soul and focus on God and feel his presence. He does give that peace that we crave.
I think that's one of the things I enjoy most about living out in the country, we tend to call it "God's Church", with the green rolling hills, the vibrant trees, laying in a hammock in the evening while the sun goes down, horses in the pasture, birds chirping around and settling for the evening....it has a peaceful presence about it. Almost like you can feel God slowly waving his hand over everything and putting the land to rest after a long busy day.
And you know Mark it doesn't have to be a sensitive subject. If people believe in God and want to talk about Him in their Journals then they are free to do so, those who don't....don't need to comment.
Personally a world without God in it is not a world I would care to be in, this one is hard enough the way it is.
Thanks Kat.
Hugs Arfie