thinkin aloud (hope I spelled "aloud" right...)

Am I really ready to once again try to live my life to the fullest.... The last time, I didn't even try my hardest and I became so stressed, depressed, and tired that I started getting sick & that is what pushed me through the door of seemingly never ending crash.... If I can get back in school, and further my education, working on my music and other arts, then I will be so happy & will try my absolute hardest...but what if I'm not as strong as I hope I am...? What if I get there and it's too much for me...what then................I don't need another rock bottom......I wont allow myself to see another rock bottom, I can't! I'm so tired of them!!!! I need clouds.......I'm ready to fly.......ready to face my biggest fear...falling.................... I have to make this leap of faith, and wether I saor or plumit will be out of my hands....sounds much too ominous for me, but I have to do it...I have to try.......I will try, & will do my best. I have NOTHING to lose. I gues I am ready to live my life to the fullest....      ****Go on and jump! You can't fall too far if your feet's already on the ground****                                                                                                                                                                   -Jamia Joy Johnson-