Think I'm doing good - not!

Just when I think I am doing good, something happens to put me down into the dark hole of despair and grief.  I don't know what happened on Sunday but I have been down in the dark hole of despair/grief.  I have not gotten out of that hole.  Everything that happens to me now just makes me all that much sadder or angrier.  I am one angry woman.  I don't always take it out on my brother Don. 
1.  I am trying to get resumes out a day, getting interviews but not getting abite
2.  Think I have fully grieves for Smokey but I think you go into a lesser grief but it is still grief including anger
3.  Are there any good men out there?  One guy Bill I liked was not into me.  Another guy that I don't like and am not attracted to, hit on me.  It is another page of writing on this one.  Let me just say it is not reciprocated  for Willy, a BC Hydro guy who I met yesterday. 
4.  Then there is Ian, a Legends patron, who I sat at his table yesterday.  I am not sure if he is looking at me in an interesting way or not but I just want to be friends.  He is retired, looks really old, is bald and we have chatted for brief moments.  I am not trying to lead anyone on and am just myself which is friendly.
I miss Smokey so very much and there is no one like him out there in this big beautiful world of ours.  How can there be when God made only one of him?  From the first time I met Smokey, he was kind, nice, honest and good.  It never changed. 
From Diane who misses Smokey greatly and probably always will

Replies

Patswife
Patswife

Do you have anti-depressants? I find they really do help. Hugs, Wendy
pattiameo
pattiameo

Of course you will always miss Smokey. We don\'t ever stop missing the loved ones we lose, espcially our spouse! Maybe you are a little bit on the \"rebound\" after finding out that your interest in Bill was not returned, which makes you miss Smokey all the more. I also know that we have setbacks. I had a big one two weeks ago. I agree that we may move into a stage of lesser grief, but it is still grief all the same. Go easy on yourself and allow yourself to grieve as long as you need. [[[ HUGS ]]] Patti
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am sorry for your grief and anger. I understand anger quite well! My mom and me were extremely close, my dad was just like a boarder in our home. My dad was mean to my Mom, choked her and raped her many years ago. Now, I take care of him. I pay all the bills, which she used to do. Get his prescriptions, make nice meals, etc. At the beginning, I was very angry at loosing Mom instead of him, as we were never close. He neglected me as a child. So, I have had a lot of adjustments in the last 2 & 3/4 years without Mom. I still do not sleep well. Take care. ((HUGS)) Kristine