Things Topsy tervey

Well its been three days since the new med change to help me sleep and I must say it helps. Getting more then 3hrs a night of sleep. But one thing still I can not get off my mind and that's court. I disided to let them read my testimony in court and now I found out that my abusers mother, brother, bio daughter, and grand children plus my sister and mother are going to be there. I was told that I have a choice on what side I want to sit on and my attorney told me that my family might sit on his side. And my head is spinning 100 different ways. I can't control my emotions, I cry for no reason, I get pissed off for no reason and I swear when I never had before. But worst of all is the thought that I disserved what happened to me and that that's all I'm good for. Hopefully court will give me some closure. But I know that with myself letting myself go through the emotions I've felt better so I've come to the conclusion that this whole ordeal with court has been good for me even if I don't know if he will walk or not. I'll be OK either way. With the love of my life and my friends by my side to help me get through my random outburst of emotions.I can make it. Even if I never find someone who understands what I'm going through and have gone through it will be OK.