Things That Were Small Are Now So Big
Dear Fred:
It is so strange how a person's perspective changes. Before Nick died a heavy snow fall was really no problem. Nick shoveled the snow out of the drive way and the walks. Now a snow fall is a big thing. It used to be so small.
When a light bulb in the ceiling blew out it was no big thing. Nick was tall enough to climb up on a step stool and change it. I am too short to change it even if I put a step stool on top of a step stool. I have to ask for some of my taller friends to do it for me. Again this used to be a small thing and now it's big.
When the weather is cold, dark and the wind is battering the house it used to not be a big thing. Nick and I would watch TV holding hands and having a G&T. Now the cold, dark and wind comes and I am alone. It is a big thing... now.
When a house repair problem comes up there was at least someone to help solve it or maybe even fix it depending on the issue. Now something around the home breaks or malfunctions and it feels almost overwhelming.
Grocery shopping was no big issue. In fact it was fun planing dinners for us. Now it is a painful reminder that I am shopping for one. Walking down the different isles in the store reminds me of the frantic trips I would take searching for something that would tempt Nick to eat a little bit. Making it through the store without crying was never an issue. Now it is a big issue and a huge accomplishment.
Tonight I am going to the first New Year's Eve get togethers I've gone to since Nick died. Everyone who will be there are the married couples that Nick & I were close friends with. Before Nick's death attending a get together with them was no big thing. Now it is huge. I am there without him. I am alone while the others visit about their vacations, their plans for future trips & the things that couples normally do together. Yes, going tonight is a huge thing. I hope it goes well.
The list goes on and on about things that were once little are now so big all because we have lost that one person in our life that shared all of these things with us. Hopefully time and continuing to try to live will in time ease these things. That is my wish for the new year.
12/31/2013
It is so strange how a person's perspective changes. Before Nick died a heavy snow fall was really no problem. Nick shoveled the snow out of the drive way and the walks. Now a snow fall is a big thing. It used to be so small.
When a light bulb in the ceiling blew out it was no big thing. Nick was tall enough to climb up on a step stool and change it. I am too short to change it even if I put a step stool on top of a step stool. I have to ask for some of my taller friends to do it for me. Again this used to be a small thing and now it's big.
When the weather is cold, dark and the wind is battering the house it used to not be a big thing. Nick and I would watch TV holding hands and having a G&T. Now the cold, dark and wind comes and I am alone. It is a big thing... now.
When a house repair problem comes up there was at least someone to help solve it or maybe even fix it depending on the issue. Now something around the home breaks or malfunctions and it feels almost overwhelming.
Grocery shopping was no big issue. In fact it was fun planing dinners for us. Now it is a painful reminder that I am shopping for one. Walking down the different isles in the store reminds me of the frantic trips I would take searching for something that would tempt Nick to eat a little bit. Making it through the store without crying was never an issue. Now it is a big issue and a huge accomplishment.
Tonight I am going to the first New Year's Eve get togethers I've gone to since Nick died. Everyone who will be there are the married couples that Nick & I were close friends with. Before Nick's death attending a get together with them was no big thing. Now it is huge. I am there without him. I am alone while the others visit about their vacations, their plans for future trips & the things that couples normally do together. Yes, going tonight is a huge thing. I hope it goes well.
The list goes on and on about things that were once little are now so big all because we have lost that one person in our life that shared all of these things with us. Hopefully time and continuing to try to live will in time ease these things. That is my wish for the new year.
12/31/2013
Replies
Darlene I hope this night out puts a few smiles on your face. Your right many small things become big things without our spouses. However the trade off with that is we also discover strengths we never knew we had. I have enjoyed reading your supportive posts to me and others over the last number of months. I You are obviously a caring compassionate lady. Wishing you only peace and happiness as we move into the New Year. God bless. Your friend. Gerald
My heart goes put to you. Very difficult times. Know that we are cheering for you
I lived that for over 3 years before I started dating. I will say you are able to getto eenjoy parts of the independent lifestyle. I ate when and what I wanted. I would get a call from a friend and run over for coffee any hour of the day or night. I never looked at the time because I wanted free to leave or stay as I wanted. You will find things about it that you can enjoy.
You are of course, alone also. I filled the time with books, dvr\'d movies, played online or called a single girlfriend.
Now that I have my Artie I still love him to have his own plans and enjoy the personal time. With my husband we were happy just hanging together. I think that\'s what made losing him so terrible. Not that I wouldn\'t be devastated to lose Art, but I hope I can use what I learned in my time here.
Wishing you happiness in every aspect of your Life. Sharon
Wishing you New Years blessings. Can\'t wait to see you in February. Much love, Sallie