Things My Father Says

He's running me crazy, my father.  I'm convinced it's dementia, but even I'm starting to wonder.  He's always been strange, but this is getting really hard to deal with.  I'm at my wits end and near the brink.  I read that writing in journals help, so here I am.  I'm basically going to use this as a way to let off steam.  
 
I'm calling this Things My Father Says.
 
1) He hired a lawn person and is convinced the man is riding around stealing bills from his car. The man has even found a way into his house to steal the same bills. 2) His VA psychologist is listening in on all his phone conversations and have turned his phone off. Later this same psychologist turned the phone off of a few relatives and one friend. He even deleted all the names in his phone(land line). Finally after months of this my father called the telephone company who confirmed that his psychologist did this, but said they could do nothing about it. Then last week my father figured out a way to stop the psychologist from listening in on his conversations__He told the phone company to route his calls through California. 3) His cousin is always taking his things. Why just a few months ago he tried to take a picture of a painting of Jesus. My father is convinced that it is an original piece worth lots of money. His mother picked it up in a store back in the 40s. She worked a common labor job at the time. 4) The bank keeps stealing all my money. 5) A thief stole his bank account info(new account, by the way) and decided to arrange a monthly contribution to WTTW. This thief didn't buy anything else. 
6) The bank gives me special breaks.  If I bounce a check, they cover it at no charge to me.

7) Getting a new furnace doubled the value of my home.  This can be checked by calling the furnace company.

 I'm not making this stuff up.