Things I Wouldn't Have Done
Dear Fred:
No This entry is not about a ton of regrets.... things I woudn't have done if I had known Nick was going to die. Yes. I do have a bunch of those but I am not dwelling on them. This entry is about things I have done or am currently doing that I would not have done if Nick was still with me.
I would not have met new friends on Ds and I also would not have met two new friends where I live.
I wouldn't have gone to The War Bonnet Roundup rodeo
I would't have gone to the Bannock-Shoshone Tribes festival
I would not have bought new bedroom furnature
I would not have repainted & re-decorated the bedroom & the master bath.
I would not have put up the fencing attachment on the fence to allow the cats freedom of the entire back yard.
I wouldn't be going to church with Karen.
I wouldn't be buying a new AWD car for winter.
I would not have joined Friends For Learning
I would not have signed up for a ccouple of clases at our technical college
I would not be taking trips so often with friends
Yes, these must be the "positives" you hear about. You know, the silver lining to the black cloud of loss, depression and hollowness. I am glad for these things. However, WOULD I TRADE ALL OF THESE THINGS TO HAVE NICK BACK OR TO SAVE HIM ANY OF THE SUFFERING HE WENT THROUGH?? The answer is YES.. in less than a heart beat.
I am grateful for these new experiences but they do not replace of fill the hollow gap left in my heart and soul.
Darlene 10/7/2012
No This entry is not about a ton of regrets.... things I woudn't have done if I had known Nick was going to die. Yes. I do have a bunch of those but I am not dwelling on them. This entry is about things I have done or am currently doing that I would not have done if Nick was still with me.
I would not have met new friends on Ds and I also would not have met two new friends where I live.
I wouldn't have gone to The War Bonnet Roundup rodeo
I would't have gone to the Bannock-Shoshone Tribes festival
I would not have bought new bedroom furnature
I would not have repainted & re-decorated the bedroom & the master bath.
I would not have put up the fencing attachment on the fence to allow the cats freedom of the entire back yard.
I wouldn't be going to church with Karen.
I wouldn't be buying a new AWD car for winter.
I would not have joined Friends For Learning
I would not have signed up for a ccouple of clases at our technical college
I would not be taking trips so often with friends
Yes, these must be the "positives" you hear about. You know, the silver lining to the black cloud of loss, depression and hollowness. I am glad for these things. However, WOULD I TRADE ALL OF THESE THINGS TO HAVE NICK BACK OR TO SAVE HIM ANY OF THE SUFFERING HE WENT THROUGH?? The answer is YES.. in less than a heart beat.
I am grateful for these new experiences but they do not replace of fill the hollow gap left in my heart and soul.
Darlene 10/7/2012
Replies
Beautiful post Darlene--it\'s nice to concentrate on the positives. I\'m so glad you are getting to do things you are enjoying. Hugs--and keep doing those wonderful things--they are wonderful for you.
Positives are so necessary in our lives. Congrats on yours.
I know this so well.....both sides.....hugs....
There is no direction to go but forward. Thanks for posting about the new life you are experiencing. We are all forging ahead and working on creating a new life as well. Peace to you tonight. Darleen
Darlene, so very well said.......I have often commented on some of these same things. I believe that the last thing that Arnie gave me to show me how much he loves me is my DS family. I love you all and I am blessed to have you all in my life but ....wish we would have never have met..(you know what I mean by this...in a good way) Take care of yourself and we will chat soon.....love and hugs
Darlene,
I love to read your journal. You have wonderful insight. I am also learning my way in this new life without Stan. I am growing and moving forward---but yes, I would give all the personal growth back in a second for Stan. Since I know this cannot happen, I will continue on and be thankful for my many blessings. I look forward to meeting you.
Many hugs and love,
Sallie