Things I am now remembering
On the past Sunday I triggered very bad- shaking, stuttering, crying and almost fell when my knees buckled. It started with my husband hammering to remove a carpet tack strip. The sound was the trigger. I was seeing the time around 9 yrs old when the house was being remodeled. I was sitting in what was left of the living room, eating cereal for breakfast. Everything covered in plastic. Table in kitchen but no chairs. It was not a school day. The contractor and my mom were in one corner of the kitchen as I could see from the doorway. Don't know what they were saying. Then the contract came toward me- I could not see his face. I was very terrified- both in the vision and reality. When I calmed down, I had to find the contractor's name. After several hours of searching, found it- Pat Pat Cerimele. Still can't remember the face. I do not remember much from this time in my life but feel that there is a reason the memories are locked away. Don't even like the sound of his name.
Replies
Audra, I hope you find tool to maintain flashbacks. I\'ve learned when childhood abuse triggers are tripped to do these both next... Out-loud, I tell the memory it has no authority/power in my life today. Then I read todays date out-loud while repeating first phrase. It took a lot of practice, but when a childhood abuse triggers tripped, I know these two tools will keep my grounded from disassociation.
wow! hope it works out for you. that happened to me once in the middle of the night, my friend\'s son turned on the tv in his room and his mother went inside and picked up the tv and smashed it on the floor because she had told him he couldn\'t have it on then started screaming at him. i remembered being jarred awake by my stepmother literally beating up on my stepsister scratching her with her nails, punching her, when she was trying to sleep, so bad her husband came upstairs but did NOTHING to protect the child, just walked away and grumbled do whatever she tells you I HAVE WORK TOMORROW. its amazing, this woman was a primary school teacher in new jersey and she was psychotic and borderline schizophrenic with hyperthyroid and she rarely took her meds, so was manic a LOT. she was allowed to both teach and raise children. my friend\'s mother around the block was SAME scenario!! but i have no idea what her mother\'s diagnosis was. i have no respect for new jersey at all just for hiring teachers who are crazy like that. would also love to know why our government allows crazy people to raise or be around kids at all?
thanks for sharing. xxoo