things are messy, confusing but good

I wrote about my day in an email to my therapist earlier.
And right now I feel just as though it's not healthy to live

a solitary life. I may like to be alone, so I can gather my thoughts

and reflect. But to an equal degree I know it's real important to have

a 'someone' outside of work and outside of family. Who I am there for

and who is there for me.

Something within me tries to churn me all up after a spell of journal entries

and reflections on life, and a sense of order...so that I return to basic chaos

and humanity. Something really tries to churn things up within and drag me down.

Perhaps in some ways that's a good thing. Perhaps that's me, renewing my own life

by washing the blackboard of chalk leaving a fresh tabula rasa to always there to begin

again.