things are looking up :)

I am having an amazing day. Work went well.

 

I kept reminding myself to be responsible

for my relationships while waiting to start

and  then to 'stay in the moment' when work began....

keep moving! I thought to myself....

 

and after work, my sense of being the decider

of my own endeavors is really coming together. This is so welcome!

 

 

I talked to my Dad when I got home and had a good call with him.

Definitely the idea I had of not imposing my own context on him

and sharing the space and time, with him and everyone, was keeping me inspired and able to cope

better when there were momentary blips (of wonky interactions at work) and... all relationships are so much

better...

 

It's a little odd to capture all this in writing....but it's important for me to try to communicate it..

 

What I do know is that I am thinking and as well having a sense about how I want to be spending

my time rather than being controlled by externals or blank to my own desires/ inclinations. The routines

I have created were like the empirical stuff I knew I had to do no matter what... and during much of that

time previous, I wouldn't know what else to do because of my kind of blindness of my own interests and extreme attention to being self responsible with household obligations, work and financial management ...and I guess

you could say it was partly 'at the stage I was on my therapeutic journey.'

 

Just today, with the better cognition, I think if I were in University again, I think I would like to be a scholar/academic..

 

I feel inspired but am kind of sad about what is not in my life right now but I look

forward to the monastery - I can't wait to talk more about this with my therapist on Wednesday!

 

after writing the above portion, I went to the market nearby