things are good, they're interesting

I'm starting to see how I subconciously react when I am

alone at my house or out and about. I tend to self associate

with my feelings and thoughts in order to understand myself at that moment

and my place in the world. Does that make sense?

I realize because I am alone and because I don't have the folks

at work and my responsibilities to think about -

I start to subconsciously or unconcsiously start to take a measure

of things and slowly the intenseness of feelings start to build up and up

before I've recognized that it's only about self definition that is

knocking at my door.

I realize too that I may feel the way I naturally would feel about things

and then also need to measure what that means in the world - and I think

for that reason I can get so caught up in ideas - or have gotten that way -

as a mixture of those two realities crossing paths with each other.

So I know this might sound jumbled or maybe too cryptic to be totally clear.

I will say I feel agency about what I am choosing to follow mentally and emotionally.

And I know that Blue needs his play time - so rather than avoid it - I'll be a good

master/buddy and reconcile that we're gonna play freeform with his cat whip for

a good ten minutes. Send peace and good vibes.