things are good....keep on keepin' on..sussing things

I wrote the following while at my family's home today.. I felt good about how I was handling

myself there while with them. I sense myself a sore thumb at times.

I love them a lot...and I know they love me...now that I am home again, I'm just getting back into

the way I handle my life here. I wrote at the end of this that I wonder how we all handle our togetherness

and then our alone time. I felt really lazy when I got home today - but now I am getting back into the swing

of my life...Learning from today and also trying to get in the swing of things again.

Writing here has helped me feel motivated and inspired again. Blue's lovely meows are reminding me too.

Here's what I wrote:

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This is me. When I am around my family, I tend to have to hold on for dear life. I don’t want me to be reactive and so I am vigilant but also trying to get along. I have realized that I am kind of becoming acclimated to being the silent son. That actually is helping me to cope and keep hope. I try to add to the conversation but i just don’t seem to find the space. The 6th finger that kind of does not fit in on the hand but I am remembering to tell myself that when alone again It will be time to take care of myself, my life. That responsibility is galvanizing. Things are ok but it’s strange the self image we sometimes develop and how present reality defies that sense of self regard. I am proud of myself for not giving up the ghost, giving up the fight.. it’s my life to lead with positivity no matter how I might feel at this time. How do we all experience those times together and then when alone?