things are good

I have been taking care of things and relaxing today. Taking care in my time off - and then intermittently napping

or drinking a coffee and watching tv. Things are going ok and yet at a certain point I started worrying that what I was

doing....wasn't enough... and maybe that quality of keeping 'on top of things' makes me feel more certain, more fulfilled

than just dealing with an unstructured day. I was thinking about my Father and he always seems to be 'at the ready' to do what is necessary - always doing his work, always taking care of his business, bills and relationships, always taking care of his kitchen duties while my Stepmother cooks up a storm for us. I respect him so much. He seems to have such an inner calm and strength and kindness. I wish I were more like him.

I am though realizing that we all have to deal with our duties whether at work or play and so I am kind of projecting 'out there' how it goes for all of us.

Part of me wants to get back into tv production and create sets for shows. Creating a fantasy world. I know I have a mental condition - but I feel drawn towards making my "own" way again - although the calmness I feel now - is in part due to the fact that I have a very calm life. Anyways, things are good.  I hope you guys are having a peaceful and excellent day. Namaste.