things are good
it really is like my therapist said - that which we are allowed to consider of and in ourselves
in our early development - will nurture that self identification in ourselves as we grow
and it will become a strength or weakness.
things weren't so safe to assert ourselves growing up and so there was like
this group water line that no one would cross or dare to cross in the wake
of ridicule or attack - it can be about jocular comradery and playfulness
but it can go to extremes and be totally thwarting
things are really good.
with her guidance and my friends here -thank you very much - moments are coming to me
where I am questioning my feelings- like today at meal prep -
there was work after work piled on top of me - with no sense of
appreciation - especially when there was knowledge I had to prepare to serve
at altar immediately afterward. But I knew we all had a lot of work -
yet I sensed that lack of consideration and value working behind
the scenes in my mind making me feel 'less than' ---and I caught it
just as I might have turned toward low esteem.
There have been a number of moments like this today guys-
I've been catching those moments of pure feeling - where I can become
'in love with the world' - yet I have to remember I'm doing my work and taking
care of my life and my health.
Things are good.
I love Blue so much
fatigue and being a workhorse can really influence you to bury yourself if that is all that is expected of you.
...and those moments of unchecked dimension and realities can have those moments of discomfort
(unseen or unacknowledged) can make 'moving my chair to get a better view' a pivotal moment
for either understanding what to do or becoming a victim of not having seen the opportunity to choose.
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I am grateful to be able to come back to my room with Blue. This life here is good for me. It allows me to work hard but have comfort and compassion close at hand.
I wrote this to my sister:
I know for the problems I have and the abilities I have I am EXTREMELY lucky in how I am living. Safe and comfortable and communal with Blue too! When a day leaves me down, I know I need to count my blessings and really make sense of it all like that.
It turns me around straight away and adds relief
Big hug Marky...Gratitude is such a fabulous tool
I can tell how much dear Bluey lifts you up
Our beloved 4 legged family are truely gifts from God
You 'sound' good sweetie...xo
Thanks Janet!