Things are good
It's been challenging to be without my therapist being here, but it's taught me
to try and fend for myself, and also pool the resources I have and
listen more carefully to my experiences and others' experiences.
I am very variable but at the same time I keep my ear to the ground so to speak
to try and glean some useful information from my experience and journey.
I was at work earlier today and just felt mighty weak - but I knew to keep putting one
foot in front of the other and do the work...I mean I felt not quite all there -
but I realized that it was crucial to just keep doing the work. It's a lesson that
has come in many forms at many times - but I am grateful. In other words just focus on the job at hand. It would be nice to have more to hold onto, but doing just that is pretty much what we're all doing.
It kind of felt like the curtain was falling away from my eyes into any sense
of grandness about myself that I had. But I wasn't self persecuting.
I got home and played with my cat - and then as I am probably moving somewhere
soon (I don't know where yet) I was feeling just sad and immobilized. Without a sense of power
or knowing what to do.
I talked to my Dad and he said "He didn't know his future" - "that they are going through transition
now too." and that sunk in very well. I was sitting in a funk on my couch and I realized I don't know what's going to happen. I just need to go about getting my clothes ready for work tomorrow, get my meds ready for this evening, wash the dishes and so on.
I feel reinforced by that and so I just wanted to share that things are good.
You guys are so appreciated. Keep on keeping on!
peace and Namaste,
Mark
Replies
Life is hard and change is hard.....baby stepping is my 'new normal' breaking life down into small bits and being mindful of what I've accomplished.
Thanks Mary Louise!