things are beginning to look up
i am liking the new me and work is getting better, I have begin to really envision what that addiction really looks like in the streets and feeling the pain and the desperation of just what 330 am really looks and feels like. Turning that corner @ US 1 for the last time after panhandling for that 20 dollar rock realizing that there just isnt any new faces out there at that time of the morning that just might believe my ridiculous story about a broke trailer on a truck and give me some money. Im really grateful that my wife after 6 years and a million relapses is in a good space with me and i just dont want to see that other side of her so her I am and here is where i choose to be for today...
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...well got through the day sober but got cussed out for selling the family\'s dvd;s from 4 months ago..hell of situation when u try to do the right thing but at least i didnt pick up and so we move on...
Oh harold I know what you are going through. I am not going to tell you it\'s easy. It is a terrible addiction but it\'s doable. I have been clean for over 20 years now and believe me when I tell you if you don\'t get clean you will loose everything. My heart goes out to you. I was put in jail and when I went to treatment I couldn\'t remember how to read or write and my heart was very enlarged. I almost died. I kept telling myself I could do it on my own but I couldn\'t I hate when people use to tell me to just say no (it\'s not that easy). It so saddens me when I see addicts and what they are going through. New playgrounds and new playmates. My adopted son died on July 1 of a heroine overdose and it really hurts. You have to do this for you. I knew a guy who died with a crack pipe in his hand. (his heart exploded) You don\'t want to go there and I am here for you whenever you want to talk. I can look back now and see all the damage it did in my life and I\'m not going back there ever again. My first husband was very supportive of me and he has passed on now. I got my life back and glad to hear you are seeing the good of not using. You can do this. I look back now and think of all the money I spent and people I hurt. I am praying for you and want to hear from you.
You can do this.........................
Warm Hugs
,,,thanks you so much,,ive been through NA..jail..prison but i actually feel like im turning the corner,,,please continue to give me feedback ..i need it..