they joy of living alone
things are pretty good. My mood is variable but I've been thinking about how
my need is something to help bolster my sense of identity...
by giving to it - 'there's a knowing of self and identity' - from all those aspects.
I walked over to the Starbucks and stopped and got a hot drink.
I was feeling comfortable in my skin - - I thought maybe I was weak compared to the others
but I held my ground just resolved in who I am - giving to my own needs - and being decent
to the others...
but on the walk back I thought about that sense of weakness
and how I so want to walk into a picture in life as a way to move forward at times...
It's a way of safely moving forward being reassured by imagery -
but I realized that's not a plan nor is it how I am successfully or practically moving forward.
I thought about the realities of being who I am - that work and my growing age portend
that I need to save money and provide for myself - I wanted to move forward with that idea of saving money
and being careful financially as I was
seeing the difference between my family and me and others. I saw my individual and yet
It's like I wanted something to feed off of in order to keep my focus on that.
My mind went towards how it feels, that on my days off, I tend to feel like I am working
all the time and then I realized that in fact - living alone can be stressful as there is only me
making the plan- making the motivation - only me processing the experience - making the work and the play.
So indeed it is like working all the time maybe?
So indeed it is like working all the time maybe?
So I thought about that - and then I thought about marriage and then how
at times others seem so happy as individuals - it's hard to understand how they can be so joyful
in the face of life's charges and complications -
but again as I thought about marriage - I thought 'that institution' brings a kind of joy -
it's work - but it's also sharing - and it affords the space for joy for the daily triumphs and pitfalls...
My mind followed back to the solitude of being alone - and I am finding peace
with that - in fact joy at living alone - I have a sense of identity that I hold onto
- I need to prepare for my life ahead,
we all do...there's potentially a coupling that happens but even together we've got
to make room for each other's professional life..We each need to be self sustaining
as well as supportive. I can't be blind to that..
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((((Marcos)))))
lol Blue’s tapping his nails on the counter saying “So ya live alone do ya?” Just kiddin :)
hahaha
Haha lil missy. I don’t know about you guys but I live in Bella’s palace as she runs the joint around here….
Mark, having experienced marriage for ten years, there are definitely some powerful things about it that provide comfort. Every marriage is different, as different as what two individuals decide on their joined path. I think its healthy while being single to identify the specific things you’d like in a potential mate. Because if you don’t know you can easily get lost in the concept.
It’s something I’m navigating as well…living a single life. None of it, single or partnered up, being any kind of “cure” to problems. Learning to live with contentment.
Wanting or “needing” something requires thoughtful action, and those steps are what I’m focused on in therapy these days, recapping my real world scenarios as they play out. I feel like I’m living in a not-so-entertaining and poorly written sitcom with bad foreign translation most of the time, but at least I’m trying. I try to applaud myself just for trying.
Big hugs for a peaceful Saturday.
Thanks Nikki!
That is very deep, friend! Sounds a lot like radical acceptance to me which i try to practice. We do what we can with what we have :)
thanks sunshine!