These nightmares...

Last night was the same as the last eight or nine or however many it has been because I have honestly lost track: Problems falling asleep, and then I don't come close to sleeping through.  Not being able to fall asleep until 11 or later and then waking up at 5 or earlier is becoming very common and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight.
The same nightmare keeps coming up.  The truth of the matter is, once I get my AS in paralegal studies -- but working part-time as a pharmacy tech -- I really don't know what to do.  In the short term, it's obvious: Stay with the part-time job while I try to build a new resume (which includes a data entry job from about three years ago that I don't think I can add because I can't even remember where it was now) and at least try to look for a paralegal job.
But logistically that looks completely problematic.  A very big part of me would still rather be shot than be interviewed by somebody I don't know, a serious sign of general mistrust that I know no medication can help with (never mind the fact that the anti-depression med I'm on now isn't working).  And if I do end up changing jobs, knowing me, I'm probably going to hate myself for it; my current set of colleagues have been more patient than my parents have ever been at recognizing that I'm troubled, and I very much doubt I will ever get another set of colleagues like that.
I'm also having nightmares about anything that might potentially settle me down at night...the addiction issues that haunted me not that long ago with puzzles and the like is still fresh in my mind, and limits don't feel like the answer because they're too easy to blow off.  I think I might have had something for a short time but my lack of confidence in my self-control quickly rendered it worthless.
It's no wonder that sleeping at night is so hard these days, absolutely nothing feels right...nothing at all.