Therapy Visit
Today I went and saw my therapist. She said I looked great, like I was losing weight and that my acne was better. She said I looked like I was glowing. I felt pretty good when I was there... I woke up tired today, but managed to get out of bed in time to make it to the bus stop. This is the best I've felt in a while. I'm tired right now, I feel like I could fall asleep now, but I want to do this before I go to bed. I don't know how long of a journal it's going to be... I might get tired and cut it short. I have to be up in the morning to go to work. I don't have to be up early or anything (11 should be good) but it's still a lot on me sometimes. I slept good last night. I fell asleep right away. I was on the phone with my friend Kate and I almost fell asleep on the phone with her. I thought I was going to have trouble falling asleep anyway, but I fell right asleep. I got about 12 hours of sleep last night. Bed felt so good that I didn't want to leave. I hope I don't have trouble getting out of bed tomorrow. I have the weekend to be lazy. I need to get back to my life.
Going into the hospital was a good thing for me, though. I'm more stable now and don't have to worry about losing my mind for now. I needed time away from my bed, even though I mostly stayed in my bed when I was in the hospital. I just needed that stability, to know that I was safe. Geo doesn't quite understand why I went in, and what it is that I went through, but he's trying to be as supportive as possible. I don't know how to explain what happened to me, but I know it was severe and threatening. I had to do something to combat it, and so I went into the hospital. It wasn't a fun experience, but going inpatient is never something you want to do, it's something you have to do.
My mood today was good. I felt good to be out of the hospital and back to normal. I walked about a mile today, between walking to the bus stop by the mall and walking to where Geo was parked when I got back from my therapist's office. He didn't go with me because it was too early. We did have the truck today, but he didn't go to sleep until about 6am, so I didn't want to wake him at 10 when I got up to go. He used to go with me, but since I started going back to her last year he hasn't, mostly because we don't have a car.
Food today was bad... I ate Taco Bell for lunch... I got their nachos, which I was craving, and a taco. I had a bagel with peanut butter for breakfast and pork chops with noodles for dinner. I was over my calories again, which I need to start watching again. I knew I was going to go out to lunch, but I didn't know where. I guess I should have gone to Wendy's and gotten their chili and a potato like I normally do. I need to stop going out to eat when we have the truck. I keep saying that, but I never follow through on it. It's just something I like to do. I need to stop asking for Taco Bell, though, since Geo doesn't like them anymore. He got a taste of real Mexican food, and ever since then he doesn't like Taco Bell. I don't blame him... real Mexican food is good, but sometimes I just want the processed crap. I don't know why, but I like the fake nachos over the real ones at the Mexican place. I think I'm addicted to the fake cheese. I could go to the store and get a huge can of that fake nacho cheese and eat it straight. Well, maybe not straight, but I feel like that sometimes. Next time I go to the store I will just get a little thing of cheese sauce and that way I don't have to go to Taco Bell to get my fix.
Okay, I'm getting a bit brain fried now... I should end this. I'm just glad to be doing better emotionally and physically. The pain in my hips is gone almost, and I was able to walk a decent amount today. Hopefully I can get my life back to normal soon. I think the worst is over. I shouldn't say that, I might jinx myself, but I can hope, right?
Going into the hospital was a good thing for me, though. I'm more stable now and don't have to worry about losing my mind for now. I needed time away from my bed, even though I mostly stayed in my bed when I was in the hospital. I just needed that stability, to know that I was safe. Geo doesn't quite understand why I went in, and what it is that I went through, but he's trying to be as supportive as possible. I don't know how to explain what happened to me, but I know it was severe and threatening. I had to do something to combat it, and so I went into the hospital. It wasn't a fun experience, but going inpatient is never something you want to do, it's something you have to do.
My mood today was good. I felt good to be out of the hospital and back to normal. I walked about a mile today, between walking to the bus stop by the mall and walking to where Geo was parked when I got back from my therapist's office. He didn't go with me because it was too early. We did have the truck today, but he didn't go to sleep until about 6am, so I didn't want to wake him at 10 when I got up to go. He used to go with me, but since I started going back to her last year he hasn't, mostly because we don't have a car.
Food today was bad... I ate Taco Bell for lunch... I got their nachos, which I was craving, and a taco. I had a bagel with peanut butter for breakfast and pork chops with noodles for dinner. I was over my calories again, which I need to start watching again. I knew I was going to go out to lunch, but I didn't know where. I guess I should have gone to Wendy's and gotten their chili and a potato like I normally do. I need to stop going out to eat when we have the truck. I keep saying that, but I never follow through on it. It's just something I like to do. I need to stop asking for Taco Bell, though, since Geo doesn't like them anymore. He got a taste of real Mexican food, and ever since then he doesn't like Taco Bell. I don't blame him... real Mexican food is good, but sometimes I just want the processed crap. I don't know why, but I like the fake nachos over the real ones at the Mexican place. I think I'm addicted to the fake cheese. I could go to the store and get a huge can of that fake nacho cheese and eat it straight. Well, maybe not straight, but I feel like that sometimes. Next time I go to the store I will just get a little thing of cheese sauce and that way I don't have to go to Taco Bell to get my fix.
Okay, I'm getting a bit brain fried now... I should end this. I'm just glad to be doing better emotionally and physically. The pain in my hips is gone almost, and I was able to walk a decent amount today. Hopefully I can get my life back to normal soon. I think the worst is over. I shouldn't say that, I might jinx myself, but I can hope, right?
Replies
Wowwww this is great journal so happy you are back! Going ip was good thing ... you was really struggling with getting back to stable place. I agree no one ever wants to go but sometimes its for the best for short time. Hope you have a good night and welcome back :)
what a happy journal, you made me smile. going ip was a great thing to do, your spirts are up and you all arond sound happy. i chuckled over the processed food junk, trust me you are not alone, i used to meat that stuff all the time!! lol maybe 1 way of stopping out to lunch every time you go out, is to think of the money you will save, and allow yourself to go as a treat every now and then. just a thought. there is nothing like your own bed and im glad you went to sleep fast. i hope work goes ok, and the walking is awesome. hugss
Ditto on loving the upbeat Larrisa journal! Maybe now that you are back home and doing so much better Geo. can understand it a bit more.
Mexican food is the best! Have you tried the Campbells soup - Fiesta Nacho Cheese? Freeze what you can\'t use for another time.
I was thinking of you yesteday while I was walking...I did 1 mile in 23 minutes. But that was treadmill and I think I can walk faster on it than on the ground.
I bet it felt great to hear your therapist say all those nice things and I\'m glad you went IP for a few days to get your emotions in order. Way to take care of yourself.
You know when you go out to eat you could go on the internet before and check out what comes close to the calories you are supposed to eat. Then you don\'t have to feel guilty. And every place has a few healthy choices nowadays.