then he acts like nothing is wrong... calling me

oh my LORDDDDDDDDDDDDDD freaking help me.. from ......fucking ..stupid .....ass... men.. I swear to goodness .....am I in the twlight zone?  WAKE ME UP>>> FUCKING GAME OVER seriously banging my head on the computer desk.. swear to god.. gods playing tricks on me.........testing me for something .............. doesnt anyone give a fuck.. what the hell they do to me?  How they trat me...?  is everyone insane? head games gotta love them. fuck... he just called me... and said I wont be home for a couple hours yet.. I have to go get a trailer and load stuff yet I have to work tomorrow morning.. and here is me inside my head " ok.... is he retarded?.. wtf.. I know he read the letter?  why the flying fuck.. is he even COMING home?  Did he not understand the letter?  Do I have to make it any CLEARER?  Did I stutter?  what the fuck? CAN HE NOT READ????????"  so I just sat there and was like ummmmm.....silence.. (I was STUNNED, silence across phone lines). "whatever.. Russ.." but really was thinking "U have to be seriously dry humping me right now.... he is gonna act like nothing is wrong AGAIN.. that I didnt ask him to leave this fucking house.. to leave me alone.. I am fucking gonna HAVE to go through ALL of this AGAIN tonight.. seriously, someone has to hate me... someone has to be playing a joke on me lately....what the fuck is going on... in this fucked up life of mine?" Seriously am I missing something here?  WTF do people keep fucking with my emotions and head?    Does my head say "welcome.... walk all over her.. shes a easy mark.. u can get away with anything..?" (seriously looking in the mirror right now... for some kind of ink/tattoo/sticker???? or something written on me)?  what.. what..... what  do I have to DO? telll me god... what do I have to do?????? to have a normal life?  to just get some peace? SOOOOOOOO fucking now I need to WAIT UP... and fucking GOOO OOOOOOOO Over it again ?  explain it work by word.. what the words mean? Why does he keep doing the HEAD games?   What is the joy out of it?  Did he just think I would FORGET all ABOUT IT by tonight?  that ... ahhh shit  I was just shitting yah.... didnt really mean it... keep fucking with me...... my lord... insaneness,  my freaking life is sooo insane...fucked up .. crazy... non functional.. not normal..... SOOOOOO GREAT... FUCKING THANK U... so much Lord... for giving me a break... thank you for letting me be happy and letting me have some peace... So noww.... I talk to him and fucking WHAT>???????????????  WHAT THE FLYING FUCK NOW?