The worst is over
Hello, all!
As you can see, I haven't been on here in a VERY long time.
I started Hormone Replacement Therapy, and it finally kicked in. Now I have many more good days than bad, which is an incredible relief! The occasional flare-up is still a pain in the butt, but I can at least function on the days that I don't have one.
However, I thought that once I started to feel like a normal human being, my sex drive would come back.
....well, it hasn't.
I tried taking testosterone, but that made EXTREMELY angry, and all I wanted to do was seriously punch holes in the wall or someone's face. I woke up and started yelling at my daughter over nothing, and when she started crying, I realized what was happening and apologized and comforted her. That's the last time I took testosterone.
However, there's my husband. At 56, he has a very active libido, and being at opposite poles, we are often at odds with each other. I understand that he has needs, but I really can't fulfill them. I do try to be unselfish (just because I can't have a happy ending doesn't mean that he shouldn't), but whenever we get going, all I can think of is how he's getting his needs met, regardless of how I feel about it, and I'm filled with resentment, immediately followed by anger. The last 3 times we tried doing something, I ended up jumping out of bed and yelling at him.
He's puzzled and frustrated, and ultimately angry. After all, didn't he hang in with me for almost 10 years of my insanity, severe depression, and menopause? so why am I not interested any more?
So he tries all sorts of tactics to get me to perform on/for him; biology ("a man has needs that he just can't ignore"), the you-need-to-change-the-way-you-view-this approach, and guilt ("It's an act of love...don't you love me, after all we've been through?"). He will not accept that I can't go through with it.
Anyway, that's the latest. Menopause is mostly over, but now, there's this thing, so I guess I'll be joining another group.
Best wishes to all!
As you can see, I haven't been on here in a VERY long time.
I started Hormone Replacement Therapy, and it finally kicked in. Now I have many more good days than bad, which is an incredible relief! The occasional flare-up is still a pain in the butt, but I can at least function on the days that I don't have one.
However, I thought that once I started to feel like a normal human being, my sex drive would come back.
....well, it hasn't.
I tried taking testosterone, but that made EXTREMELY angry, and all I wanted to do was seriously punch holes in the wall or someone's face. I woke up and started yelling at my daughter over nothing, and when she started crying, I realized what was happening and apologized and comforted her. That's the last time I took testosterone.
However, there's my husband. At 56, he has a very active libido, and being at opposite poles, we are often at odds with each other. I understand that he has needs, but I really can't fulfill them. I do try to be unselfish (just because I can't have a happy ending doesn't mean that he shouldn't), but whenever we get going, all I can think of is how he's getting his needs met, regardless of how I feel about it, and I'm filled with resentment, immediately followed by anger. The last 3 times we tried doing something, I ended up jumping out of bed and yelling at him.
He's puzzled and frustrated, and ultimately angry. After all, didn't he hang in with me for almost 10 years of my insanity, severe depression, and menopause? so why am I not interested any more?
So he tries all sorts of tactics to get me to perform on/for him; biology ("a man has needs that he just can't ignore"), the you-need-to-change-the-way-you-view-this approach, and guilt ("It's an act of love...don't you love me, after all we've been through?"). He will not accept that I can't go through with it.
Anyway, that's the latest. Menopause is mostly over, but now, there's this thing, so I guess I'll be joining another group.
Best wishes to all!
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