The Wonders of Red Ink

I have heard of people using a red marker to color on themselves where they wanted to SI, and before, I thought it was stupid. I questioned how it could possibly help. Well tonight I was at the end of my rope. I was desperate to do anything positive to make myself feel better. So I tried it, and it was powerful. I sat down, acknowledged my feelings of sadness and helplessness, and took out my red pen in place of my razor. With each stroke, I validated my feelings. "Yeah, I do have the right to feel sad" or "Man it is so hard to be in foster care". In a few minutes, the entire inside of my left forearm was covered in ink. I looked down and could see my pain. And the best part was that it didn't bleed, need to be covered, or eventually need to be healed. Tomorrow when I take a shower, I'll just wash it off. Simple as that. I know that it probably won't always be so miraculous, but it prevented me from cutting tonight, and right now, I am living moment by moment. I'll deal with tomorrow's urges when I get there.  I think I have made some enormous progress today on my goals. I ate two meals today :), didn't cut, and acknowledged my feelings in a safe and positive (though slightly goofy) way. Cool cool. It only gets easier from here... :) xoxo ~Tracie