The weekend..

Al and I left for the cabin on Friday even though I had been down two days with an ear infection and signs of some kinda bug. Clayton (my brother) and Val followed us up as they had never been there before. When we got there, Weston (Als son) was already there. We were the only ones that came to the cabin on Friday. It was nice and cool. We got the four wheelers ready for in the morning and then just chatted until bedtime.Val and I went outside to smoke and it was pitch dark. Couldnt see a thing but did we go back in for a flashlight? No but we should of. I was walking on the inside of the porch as Val walked on the outside when all of a sudden there was no more porch where I was walking and down I went to the ground between the cabin and porch. Only about a three foot drop but when its pitch dark and you dont know its happening you dont prepare for the fall. Val helped me up and I had a hard time walking on my foot. We went back in the cabin and my elbo was bleeding and the whole left side of my body hurt with scratches and bruising. The foot was killing me but oh well. The next morning we got up and Al allready had coffeee on. I stepped down on my foot and it was some of the most pain I have felt in awhile. It wasnt swollen or even bruised like the rest of me but very painful. I decided just to make the best of it and we rode the four wheelers for awhile. I rode on the back of Als as I was in some pain and couldnt ride by myself.. I hate riding on the back of those things. I would much rather be driving. Julie, another sister in law, showed up with my son Dakota (he couldnt come up till Saturday as he had to work). He immediately told me that he had gotten a ticket for running a stop sign on his way to work. He was trying to put his seatbelt on when the cop pulled him over, so the cop thought he was trying to hide something so they searched his car. They asked him what he was trying to hide and he fessed up he was trying to put on his seatbelt but they didnt believe him and continued to search his Mazda truck. Behind the seats they found some small shorts and a pair of little girl panties ( they belong to Oakley, Als granddaughter from when his daughter was taking the truck. The truck is mine and everyone has used it when theirs has had problems). Anyway the cop proceeds to ask Dakota what they were doing in his truck. He kinda said something like "I dont know what your into but you better watch yourself" Dakota tried to tell him but he didnt listen. That really pisses me off the cop insinuated that my Dakota was a perv.. Oh well. They gave him the ticket for running the stop sign but not for a seatbelt. They went for another ride to the top of the hill so that they could get phone service and find out where my son Ryan was. They got ahold of him and he said he would be up later. We just kinda hung out and fed the fish in the pond and road four wheelers and had a late breakfast. When Ryan finally showed up he was quite sad so we all tuned in and asked what was a matter. He said he had a call on his way up and that his brother Bo had been found dead in his bed. This is a brother that his father had with Tina after he had left me pregnant and alone. He is just a year or two younger then Ryan. He had a drug overdose.. Seems Tina was trying to get Lamar to take him in Phoenix to get him out of the drug scene and his friends here in Utah but Lamar wouldnt have a part in it. Ofcourse Lamar never really took part in any of his kids life. He never even met my Ryan until he was 15 and thats because I forced the issue. Ryan had Bo live with him for a short time. They were pretty close for quite awhile and still kept in contact on occasion..Ryan has a hard time with his emotions and said he just didnt want to talk about it so we let it be.. So my Dakota lost his sister and Ryan lost his brother within four weeks of each other.. Very very sad.. Anyway we finished off the weekend at the cabin and had good meals and rides on the four wheelers (except for me, couldnt ride the four wheelers anymore as I was in pain). And we all made it home safe and sound.. The cabin is a nice place to escape to.. On Monday, Tina called Ryan about Bo but he left the room as he didnt want me nosing in on the conversation. I asked him how she was and he said she was crying the whole time (which I expected). He said that a friend had taken him out for drinks  but Bo wasnt his usual self and wanted to go back to the room. The friend said he was snoring at 1am and when he got up at 7am Bo was dead. That is all Ryan would tell me but this morning on Tuesday, Millie told me that Ryan told her Tina had asked him to speak at the funeral but he is having to much anxiety to do so. I dont know what he will do. Ryan always holds his feelings in and he doesnt deal with death at all very well. Hell when I was in the hospital for a month and a half and critical for over a week, I only saw him twice. It is something he has a hard time dealing with. He cant see blood or wounds or anything either. I sure hope he never gets sick or hurt as he just doesnt deal with these things at all. I couldnt when I was younger but I have gotten use to it over the years.. I know his brothers death is hurting him real bad inside, I know when he gets to the funeral he will break down.. I feel for him but he will not let me try to comfort him.. He wont even tell Millie anything.. SAD SAD SAD...