The weekend . . .
Well, here it is Saturday - usually the biggest casino day for me. Right now I'm sipping a wonderful cup of coffee and making a list of the tasks I have to do today, which includes going to the mall to use a gift card. :] to buy some new clothes... I'm 15 days in and feeling pretty good. I have to admit visiting the site frequently helps . . . actually chatted with a few people from time to time when we found eachother on line. I had a talk with my husband the other night about gambling - he has always been very logical about it - plain and simple - he's always realized the dangers for me and told me many years ago that I had a disease. He hates casinos and we had always been opposites in that way... I feel so much closer to him when I am staying away... I can be honest, myself, and carefree... otherwise when I know I've been there without his knowing I'm guarded and not free to be who I am. We've been married a long time and I"m sure that the times I thought he didn't know I went, he actually DID know. Back in 03, I had my car stolen from a casino lot along with my identity, etc., long story - it caused us a lot of problems and at that time my husband thought I was through with it ---- of course I continued to go back, and back, and back. Now it's over and right now I feel very relieved. I can live life and I feel safe. I was thinking about that this morning - how I felt "safe" in my kitchen and didn't plan to go out there.. It's a funny word, though - safe - from what? I guess the demons that take a hold of me when I'm gambling. On another note, I have a new image - I went to have my hair cut and colored the other day; I have worn it long with blondish streaks for a long time, but it needed a lot of help. Anyway, the stylist colored it and it turned out to be darker than I've ever worn it and chin length. I look like a totally different person... so my husband walks in and says where's Pat?? He loves it and when I went to work I got tons of complements. Another part of my fresh new start this year. Well I've rambled enough - time to do the tasks on the list. Hope everyone is well and GF!Hugs,Smokeygirl
Replies
Gee Pat you are really enjoying life. New doo and lots of kudos and feeling good inside because you are paying attention and living a good life. Not like the old days heh? Also the best of all, your husband is happy and you give him peace of mind. WTG and hugs Barb
Well, well, well..... You sound great!!! And I bet you look great too with the new doo!!! Pictures... pictures.... we want to see pictures!!!! I\'m so happy for you, just knowing a friends life is improving, she\'s happy, content and GF. Good job!
Hi there smokey....good to see how well you are doing. It\'s nice to see you\'ve managed to keep a relationship going through the nightmare of gambling. He must be a great guy. I\'m very proud of you...15 days and making the most of a Saturday by not gambling...good for you! New hairdo sounds good....so nice that you\'re happy with it. I\'m glad you\'re here....take care, hang in there....hugs, Brigette