The Video
The Video----- Logan (Josh's girlfriend) has told me that she had Josh on video. Josh spent his last Thanksgiving with her family. She had told me that when I wanted to watch it just let her know. Well that was 5 years ago. I finally made up my mind that I wanted it to burn on DVD. I thought to myself if I never look at it at least I will have it. I have the tape. Inserted it into the player last night and all I can say I miss my precious son. There he was looking at me. He was only on it for about 3 or 4 minutes but that is 3 or 4 minutes I can look at him. First it was him alone then the two of them together. My heart aches for Josh. I have become a pro at hiding my heart ache. Before I watched this video I had put another in just to see if the player still worked. On this video there was Josh again probably about 9 or 10. It was a video of Drew's (my nephew) birthday party. Just watching them on the slip n slide and watching drew follow Josh and hearing his little voice saying JOSH JOSH JOSH JOSH the tears started.
I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.
I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.
Replies
It is bittersweet but having the CD must be comforting.
I so understand your comment about hiding the heartache. I am getting better at at it. I know I will always have that huge hole in my heart.
I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. My thoughts will be with you. As a Canadian, we celebrated Thanksgiving last month.
Love and Hugs to you and beloved Josh.
Marlene - Lisa\'s mom
Photos and videos are so bittersweet. As we watch them we can feel like our precious children are still with us and yet we know that there will never be new opportunities to capture their sweet physical presence on film.
I\'m glad you felt strong enough to view the video ~ what a kind and generous offer from Josh\'s girlfriend!
Sending love and hugs of Thanksgiving blessings to you ~ Debbie
I\'m glad you had the chance to watch teh video and get it copied to dvd...noe you have it,,,when you watch it again ,,furst open a new box of tissues!!
(((hugs))
Pictures, videos...Wait a minute everyone I will grab the box of tissue ...
From one Josh\'s mom to another Josh\'s mom
I have a 9 second video...you\'ve probably seen it...Kala singing in the grocery store the night before her accident. What those 9 seconds on video mean to me can\'t be put into words, just as you\'ve struggled to put into words what those 3-4 minutes mean to you. Such a priceless gift; that having hurts....but not nearly as much as not having it. Once when AnnM visited she brought a video tribute which was made in honor of Daren. We watched and cried together. Maybe one day we\'ll be able to gather our videos, find some quiet time during one of the retreats, and share them with each other? We are blessed, even in our intense pain. I love you dear friend and hold you close to my heart today~~Teri.
I have so very many videos that I wish I could get the courage to watch....it brings back the joy but also the heart ripping realization that they no longer live here anymore...happier times...I send you love and peace...hoping you will find that video more of a blessing as time wears on....love, dale..brandon\'s mom
Dearest Rhonda, what a treasure to have. I\'m sure that you may not know how you feel at this time yet having it is such a gift.
Sending you lots of loving care as these holidays are coming upon us and knowing what Christmas Eve means for John and for you. Deep sigh...
Tighest of hugs and love,
Joanie
Rhonda, it is all so bittersweet! I look at Michael\'s photos and see my living vibrant son and smile and then the tears start. I have to admit that I sometimes avoid looking at his photo when I come into my apartment because I just want to avoid the pain. And yet, how painful it would be if I didn\'t have the photos! I love to look into his beautiful blue eyes and then instantly think that I will never see them again in this life...whoa, this is so hard. I am glad you have the video and have found the courage to watch it. I just recently had the cassette tape of Michael\'s Memorial Service put onto a CD and found the courage to listen to it. Hugs to you and John. Peaceful wishes during the holidays, Belinda
Rhonda, As Belinda said, it is all so bittersweet. These treasures of me with our kids are so meaningful yet so painful with the hurt of our loss. But it is good you have the DVD and can look at it when you feel able to. Have a peaceful Thanksgiving. Love and hugs to you and John and of course, Josh, Linda
Thinking of you and Josh, dear Rhonda, with love.
On our family Thanksgiving, old movies were played, sharing the treasured images of lost loved ones. While i found myself unable look at the tv, there was comfort i found in looking around the room ... as i watched my family watching the footage. Made me think of this quote: \"To live in hearts we leave behind ... Is not to die.\" ~Thomas Campbell
To have these cherished moments captured, available to watch when we are ready for heart\'s joy to swell over heart\'s ache, is \"thanksgiving\" of another dimension. We\'ll get there!!!
XOXO De