the unbearable lightness of being
I reconnected with my therapist last night after a 10 day break. I'm feeling down about
our conversation last night. I don't know exactly
why but I feel it has to do with me and my own
craziness. I hope things are ok with her, I know we're all just human.
I'm up now - got a good night's sleep -
I have been thinking about starting to paint
and or write as a way to generate my own professional life
somewhere down the line. (as a way to be my own boss and control my own schedule which is ideal)
My Dad suggests and supports that as well.
My next step is making some time to do that - with the way I spin it is almost
like I am always busy - tired from the spinning too - but I'll do it - I'll make some time
and keep you posted. I know i need to be self responsible and take care of my relationships, I feel so adrift without power or legitimacy or center it's weird...but I need to believe and take it one step at a time. Too light (the unbearable lightness). I want to figure out where I went wrong but I know the issue will heal itself through the work and distraction of taking care of myself and keeping on. Peace guys! Have a good day no matter how it starts!:-) keep on keeping on!
Replies
damn. . . i never did get around to reading that book. it was the cat's meow around the time my youngest son was born and? ? ? so many books and so little brain space, especially while parenting young children.
one of the big shockers in my early recovery was that great accomplishments require great support from allot of folks who WANT you to succeed. nobody gets far on their own. so much for that sexy lone wolf act i used to survive my homeless teen years.
steadying support while you find the time to expand your horizons. it's okay if it takes a lifetime to find the dream of a lifetime.
thank you so much arfie. what a truly beautiful and inspiring response. you really impacted me at a moment when
i was questioning just exactly that. thanks friend!