the ugliness of life or the beauty of it

I went to work today and had gone there with a sense of 

discombobulation, fretting and feeling changed from the day before

when something happened with one of my relatives.

I started at work and kept up with the keep on keeping on

and got work done.

For some reason the conversation that I had with said relative

kind of opened mess of things inside while I worked....I was and still am hoping

the preoccupation will just work itself out of my system kind of

like a thorn or a splinter might work itself out..this too shall pass.

I felt paranoia about my relationships after a while and started to evaluate

with a negative tint on 'how things are' ... Is there ugliness to life

that we must accept? Is there beauty to life that makes it worth it?

Is there an appreciation with either one that keeps you going?

Do some people thrive on their shadow selves?

Just as some thrive on the delight of doing good?

Being as strong and self responsible as you can be in either case is always needed.

And going through the routine of self care too..

I talk to my therapist today.. very grateful.

sending good vibes!