the two dogs within - today's reading in the journal lyceum :)
give a book, take a book...lending journal lyceum hall here :)
I had a good experience today - at least, though, some stuggles, and then some thoughts that helped
me move forward and get back at taking care of life..
I've very much been feeling chest pains last night and this morning...discomfort in my own skin...
frightening kind of...
and I tried to recover a sense of peace and good health by not pressuring myself
in any direction - except to just letting myself 'be' today. I curled up
on my bed - the laundry still unfolded next to me - and i ate multiple boxes of
raisins and just tried to be in my body and home -napping or staring at the morning sun blazing
through the window - very much gentle with myself
and listening to what to do from my body - rather than feel all
the 'shoulds of life' .
I've also realized that I've put a lot of pressure on friends,
family and support for my intensity -
my impulse might be to go to righteous outrage and upset when
my family's compassion isn't ideal - and in the face of that thought I turned to, rather that I can and I will have compassion
for that - they are super in a big way - and since it's hard for me to say the best things at any given moment.
i know it's hard to balance all life and be a saint - impossible - and so
for my own shortcomings too - I will have compassion -
and know I tried the best I could. And be grateful for what was said and recieved.
I decided to have compassion on both sides. And in that we can decode - or I can decode what's coming
in verbally etc... and just put it in context or a box.
So compassion for both for others and myself...we're all just people (hugs)). Together. :)
Then as I got to work finally after hemming and hawing (sp?)
...and I realized it's ok to do that too - :) ...so I found myself taking one step
at a time...inspired friends here on the site who also feel overwhelmed by
the prospect of housework at times... I feel their suffering....and as I moved forward I found that one step inspired another step..
i stood back - -appreciated how nice it looked - and kept going...
It's like there were two sides to me - two dogs (like we've talked about Arfie).
i stood back - -appreciated how nice it looked - and kept going...
It's like there were two sides to me - two dogs (like we've talked about Arfie).
One that was an insatiable never satisfied kid needing soothing - and then
the positive optimistic and enthusiastic appreciative side that was inspired
with each step - fueling the second dog with the can do spirit -
to wake up and do the tasks in front of me!!
Anyways - Just thoughts for today - things are good!
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