The Truth of Abuse

I knew that something was wrong in the relationship with the kids' dad.  At some point, I even realized he had a pornography addiction.  I stayed with him, ever faithful, trying to get him to seek help for this, willing to work through the issue.  Never once did I even consider the idea that he was abusing our daughter.  We had been married for 9-10 years.  I trusted him.  I also was a stay-at-home mom, homeschooled the kids, I was with them 24/7, 365 days a year!  I will never forget walking in, how the body can go into immediate medical shock - I just went cold.  I will never forget being grilled in a police interview.  How could this happen for so long without me knowing?  Had I not noticed anything?  So, I'm pouring out my soul to hardened dectectives, trying to think of anything and everything I might have missed. My daughter hadn't shown any outward signs, no bad grades, no behavioral problems, no sleep problems.  I told them about the pornography issue and that I had been concerned about that.  I told them that she had a couple of rashes over the years or a few sore muscles, but she was also a competitive gymnast, so none of it seemed that odd.  And how the hell is a normal person supposed to even think that their husband is abusing their child in an open hallway - not even behind closed doors!!!  That's how he got away with it.  While I was working on at-home transcription work, he could hear if I was still typing or not and just stayed around the corner in the hallway!!  I am not sure I will ever be able to get that image out of my head.
I know so many think that abuse only happens behind closed doors, or while a parent is not around, but the truth is it can happen in just a moment, a few feet away and I think maybe had I known the truth of that, I might have suspected a little bit earlier.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Wow, there\'s no possible way to know that. I feel for you. I think a lot of times that abuse goes on unnoticed because no one thinks it could possibly happen. I know some friends that have been abused in their family and have never either told anyone or told people and were not believed. You acted on it once you knew which is key.