The Sun!!

Feeling good today, even though I have to spend 3-4 hours with the stbx tonight for my sons bday. Im not looking forward to it.  But it does give me a chance to show off the new me to her.  Let her eat a little crow.   Im skinnier and healthier than I have been in years.   I have been tanning and really into trimming my gotee and making myself look nice.   I will go dressed to kill.    Last time we spent anytime together I was defeated and sad, broken.  Tonight I will show her that I am no longer defeated and broken.  I will hold my head up and talk in a strong voice.    The job thing is really holding me back from moving on more.  If I was working and independent of her financially I would be even further ahead in all of this.   I really really really need to find a job and soon. I cant imagine the fight we will get into if I have to ask her for Aprils rent.